Darshan 13 March 1978
Prem means love, lali means redness - redness of love. Red represents life, it represents blood, it represents passion. It is not only the colour of the flowers, it is not only the colour of the rising sun; it is also the colour of rising consciousness, of blooming consciousness. It is not only the colour of blood and the blood circulation; it is the colour of life flowing, circulating, moving.
That's why red has been chosen by two kinds of people in the world; they are very different, opposite and yet they have chosen red as their symbol and the saints of the East have chosen red as their symbol. Communists have chosen it because it represents revolution, it represents blood and violence. And the mystics in the East have chosen it because it represents vitality of the soul.
Red is not only the colour of life in body; it is also the colour of life in spirit....
[A sannyasin, returning to the west, says he is nervous about seeing his children for the first time in three years. His wife has married again and they have never written to him although they used to be close.]
The best thing is not to disturb them.
[That] is a long time and they must have forgotten by now, they must have readjusted themselves to the new family. Now it will be just a disturbance to enter into their lives; it will not be any help to them.
[The sannyasin says: It sort of cancels out a lot of dreams and fantasies that I've had.]
Your dreams are not the thing: if you love them it is better to leave them alone.
But they are perfectly okay - that much you know?...
So just let them be. If you want to visit them, you can just visit casually but don't disturb them.
Just be casual; just visit to say hello, and disappear again. That's what is required if you love them; otherwise you will be creating a disturbance and they will start thinking of you and will revive their memories about you. They will feel close to you again, and naturally then they will feel far away from their new father. Between their mother and themselves there will be a barrier; you will stand there.
Now things have settled. And it takes time; they must have suffered for years. Mm? slowly slowly the wound has healed, now they have accepted it; you will be opening their wound again. So just be there casually. If you want to see them, just see them, say hello and disappear again. And next time you feel like that, be casual again, say hello and disappear, so they will know that this is the type of man you are: you sometimes come, say hello and then you disappear. They will not be disturbed....
Your ego would like to disturb them; that has to be remembered....
Yes, that has to be avoided; your ego would like to go and see that they are still close to you and....
[The sannyasin says: I would like to take them along with me if I could.]
That is not right... that's not right, mm?
Love knows how to renounce when renunciation is needed; love knows how to sacrifice when sacrifice is needed. So this will be a sacrifice of the ego and the dreams, but those are just dreams and nothing to be worried about. Just go and see if they are happy, then you should be happy.
And make them feel more happy wherever they are; act in such a way that they feel more in tune with their new family. Don't create any alternative for them.
[The sannyasin says: My appearance is automatically creating an alternative. Just because I'm a sannyasin, it's another way of life and it's new to them.]
Yes, that too is good - you can just say that you have renounced everything, you are a sannyasin!
You have just come to say hello to them, that's all, mm?
And come back....
[A sannyasin says: Last week after making love, some madness came up in me, death and blackness too, very strongly.
Osho checks his energy.]
It was really good, mm? - you had a glimpse of sanity for the first time in your life, that's why it looks insane. People live in a kind of madness they call sanity. What people call or think of as normal is not normal, it is pathological, but pathology is the usual so it is thought to be normal. When for the first time your so-called sanity is abandoned and existence explodes in you, it looks insane, because existence is so vast and so huge you cannot contain it. Your capacity to contain is very small and the whole ocean just drops into you. You have a small cup and you cannot contain that flood, hence it looks mad; otherwise the experience has been beautiful.
It is almost always so, that it happens after love-making, because love is the only natural process through which you are still connected with the universe and its sanity. Everything else has been contaminated by the society, corrupted, twisted and turned into something unnatural. That's why sex remains so appealing, because that is the only natural way to become sane for a few moments; otherwise you remain insane. But it has been good; don't be worried. It will happen again and again:
And be perfectly alert when it happens; if alertness remains there is no danger. That explosion can be dangerous only if you lose consciousness. Then you can do something which later on you will be unable to sort out, to figure out what it was. So the only thing to be remembered is that next time it happens, just sit silently and watch it all, become a witness. Let it happen and become a witness.
It is an incredible experience that has happened; allow it to happen again. If you become frightened it won't happen again; you will shrink.
This is what the tantra experience is; it is a wild experience of cosmic consciousness. So go into it; there is no need to be worried.
[A sannyasin, at a previous darshan, said she had much fear. Osho suggested some groups.
Tonight, after the tantra group, she says it was good, but it wasn't perfect.
Osho checks her energy.]
Your fear does not allow you to go deeply into anything....
Two things: one is, every night for forty minutes live your fear. Just sit in the room, turn the light off and start becoming afraid. Think of all kinds of horrible things - ghosts and demons and whatsoever you can imagine. Create them, imagine that they are dancing around you and trying to grab you...
all evil forces. Become really shaken up by your own imagination and go to the very extreme of imagination. They are killing you, they are trying to rape you, they are suffocating you, mm? And not one or two, many; from every side they are doing things to you. Get into the fear as deeply as possible, and whatsoever happens go through it.
You have repressed fear in your childhood; you have been trying to be brave. You have always been against fear so you have created a facade of bravado. But that is only a mask; deep down you are a small child still afraid. So throw the mask and become the child. Do this meditation every day for at least one week.
And the second thing: in the day time or at any other time, whenever fear arises, accept it; don't reject it. Don't think that it is something wrong that you have to overcome; it is natural. By accepting it and by expressing it at night, things will start changing.
After two weeks report to me: write a letter about how you are feeling.
[Another tantra group participant says it was helpful but now, post-group, be feels be took in all the group's energy. Osho studies his energy.]
There is no problem: the energy is there. You are just feeling this because in a Tantra group so many people's energy is available; now you are alone. A Tantra group is like an orchestra: so many people playing on so many instruments, mm? The whole energy of the group takes you high. Now you are solo, you have to work out your own energy. But that's how it has to be done. One cannot remain in a group forever.
And there is no need to be afraid; it will come back. Just start moving into it. Are you in some relationship with somebody?
[He answers: No.]
That may be the cause - you need some relationship. So find somebody!
[The sannyasin says he's fighting himself about love and relationships.]
There is no need to fight. It is better to fight a woman rather than fighting with yourself. Mm? find a woman and fight with her - that is what love is. There is no need to fight with yourself.
And an Italian without a woman doesn't look right! Just find a woman.
Dhiren. It means two things: first, it means patience, and second, it means wisdom, and they both are two aspects of one phenomenon. Wisdom is attained through patience and wisdom leads to more patience. Knowledge is easy to get, it is cheap. Wisdom takes time. Knowledge is like seasonal flowers, but wisdom is like a Cedar of Lebanon: it takes hundreds of years to grow.
So only those who are patient can afford to be wise; the impatient are debarred. This is one of the reasons why this century is not so wise - because people want everything instantaneously. They like satori, samadhi, as instantly as they like coffee.
Remember that: be patient and wisdom will follow it. If one can be infinitely patient then the miracle can happen - wisdom can happen immediately too. But the paradox is that you should not ask that it happen immediately. You should be ready to wait forever and ever. If it takes eternity it is okay; then it can happen immediately.
[Osho asks the Japanese translator present if he knows any Japanese sannyasin who knows anything of Zen gardening.... I would like to make the new place almost Zen, so just find out!]