Darshan 1 March 1978
[Osho initiates the new baby of a sannyasin.]
Deva means divine, sangam means meeting. Each child is a meeting of the sky and the earth. Each child is a miracle. Something happens that should not ordinarily happen: the meeting of matter and consciousness, the meeting of the visible and the invisible. So think of him as a miracle. Respect, revere him; don't take him for granted. The moment the child is taken for granted, we start murdering him. And each child is murdered; that's what is happening all over the world and has happened down the ages: it is a great massacre.
It is not only that Herod killed all the children in Israel, it is happening every day; it was happening before Herod and it has been happening since him.
Each child passes through a psychic murder; the moment the child is not respected and is thought to belong to you like a possession, the child has been killed, effaced. He has to be respected as a god, because the child is the coming of god into the world again. Each child is a statement from god that he is not yet tired, that he is not yet weary of man, that he still hopes, that he will continue to create new human beings, whatsoever we become - sinners and saints. Whatsoever we do, he still hopes that the real man will be created. God has not failed yet! That is the declaration in each child's coming onto the earth, into existence.
So let this be your meditation now. To be a mother means to meditate with an alive, new, fresh, being.
Devadas - Deva means god, das means a servant - a servant of god, a slave of god, one who is surrendered. The English word 'servant' is not very good; it carries the connotation of somebody being forced. The English word 'slave' is also not good; that also has the meaning of somebody
being forced against his will. Daso is one who has surrendered on his own accord. In fact there is no word in English for it. It means: a servant who has chosen the life of service as his joy, a slave who has found his freedom in this slavery. When you surrender, on one hand you become a slave, on the other hand you become for the first time free, free from the ego; and that is real freedom.
So this will look like a paradox but it has a great truth in it, that only those who are ready to surrender and become slaves become free and independent. Only those who dare to lose themselves, attain.
Only those who are ready to be defeated by god, prove finally to be victorious.
Prartho means one who prays... and prayer is the greatest miracle in the world, because prayer means trust, love, surrender. It means all that is valuable. Prayer is not just repeating a formula, it is a pouring out of the heart. Prayer gives a different quality to your being. It is not that by praying you change god's mind; there is nobody like god as a person and there is no such mind as god's mind. People who pray try to change the mind of god; they are ill and they would like to be healthy, so they want to change the mind of god, but that is not true prayer. The true Prayer is that which changes you, not god. God is irrelevant, god is just an excuse, a device: the real thing is that the prayer changes the one who prays. When you are Faying you are no more the same person.
The ordinary mind continuously doubts; in prayer the doubt is relaxed, the gestalt changes, you start trusting. The ordinary mind always thinks negatively; in prayer you move to the positive; the pendulum moves from one polarity to another. The ordinary mind is always desiring, hankering, groping in the future; in prayer the future disappears, you are utterly herenow. This moment becomes your totality, and in that very totality something, a door that has remained closed forever, opens up.
To pray means to trust in miracles, to pray means that things are possible without your doing anything at all. To pray means that you need not go anywhere and all can come to you, wherever you are.
To pray means that the existence has not abandoned you; you can still call it forth. It has mothered you, it is not indifferent to you. In short, prayer means believing in the impossible before breakfast!
And when you believe in the impossible, it happens. When you believe in the impossible you have created the situation for it to happen; it was only impossible because there was no belief. Because the trust was not there it was impossible; now trust makes all things possible. Trust knows nothing is impossible.
Prayer opens the door, makes you receptive, feminine, a womb which can contain all. Prayer means that you are ready to allow god to do whatsoever he wants to do with you. You simply are in a let-go.
You say, 'I will not hinder, I will not create obstructions; I am no more. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. Take possession of me, overwhelm me, flood me.' Prayer means, 'I am ready to accept you in the deepest core of my being, I am open to you to my very heart. Sink into me, let your arrow penetrate my being, let your energy permeate me.'
Once you allow this to happen all becomes possible, because the whole energy of existence becomes available to you. Man alone is very helpless. Man plus existence is enormous, huge, infinite. Prayer is a meeting of the tiny part with the whole. The tiny part dissolves into the whole and becomes the whole.
Ajaya means that which cannot be conquered. And there is a centre in you which is invincible. It cannot be destroyed, it cannot be defeated; there is no way to even touch it, it is intangible. It is invisible. That is you; it is your awareness and it is your soul.
Sannyas is a journey to this point, a pilgrimage to one's own being. Unless you have found this immortal, invisible awareness in you, don't rest. Be diligent and work towards this. Once you start moving consciously towards this point, it happens. It is not very far, because it is you. It only needs a total intensity to find it. Be aflame with the desire to find yourself, because finding yourself is finding all. Then nothing is needed. One who has come to oneself has come to one's home... to bliss, to silence, to contentment.
Patipado means the way. There are thousands of ways to go outside but there is only one way to come in: that is called patipado. It exactly means what tao means: the way.
You have been wandering for many many lives on those outside ways; now the time has come to turn inwards. It is difficult because of our old habits; the mind knows how to travel the outer ways so it tends to go with the familiar, to the familiar. That is the only difficulty. Once you have overcome that difficulty and you have learned that you can go inside too, things become easier. Only the first step is difficult; so I say that with the first step completed half the journey is over.
Anand means blissful, mayuri means peahen. There is a peacock, this is the peahen. And mayuri represents something immensely silent. The peacock is noisy, is an exhibitionist; he shows off all his colours, he dances, and he is very ornamental - an actor. Mayuri is humble, silent, non-exhibitory.
Bliss can have two ways. One is very expansive, extrovert. The peacock is extrovert, the peahen is introvert. When bliss comes, either you have to sing it, dance it, or you have simply to be silent. Just feeling its awe, one becomes speechless. When satori comes to you, when bliss comes to you, you will become absolutely silent. You will lose your speech, you will not be able to say anything about it. Your eyes will speak, your being will speak, but you will not be able to be articulate about it. And whatsoever you say, you will feel as if you have been unjust to the experience, unfair, because what you have said is simply irrelevant, is almost a lie; it is so inadequate.
Remember it: let your dance be more and more inner, let your song be more and more silent, let your dance be a dance of no-movement. Yes, there is a dance of no-movement. You just feel it in the innermost being but it remains there: unexpressed, unsung. Your whole being will feel the taste of it, the flavour of it. You will be completely permeated by it but still you will not be able to utter a single word.
Many people have been asking me, 'Why have only men been great enlightened masters - why not women?' One of the reasons is this, that man is an extrovert; he can express himself well. He is a peacock; the woman is a peahen. She can know, she can feel, she can be, but when the point of expression comes she is utterly at a loss. And this is not only so with the ultimate experience but in other experiences too. A woman finds it very difficult to say, 'I love you'; a man finds it very easy. Even when he doesn't feel much love he can say, 'I love you'. And the woman, even when she is full of love, remains silent about it; it has to be felt by the other. The woman respects the inner experience so much that all expression seems a little vulgar. That's why there have not been great women masters: not that there have not been great enlightened women; there have been.
You will be surprised to know that in the whole of nature the male is very expressive. If you listen to the cuckoo, the male sings the song, not the female. In the whole of nature you will find the female very silent, unassuming. The male is very expressive and aggressive; he sings the song, he dances
the dance of the peacock and he is very very colourful. Only with humanity have things become different. The man simply wears a grey suit, the official dress, and the woman has become very very expressive; she wears many colours, designs, decorations. This is a kind of perversion.
If you go back into history, it was not so. Just see Krishna! He is as decorated as any woman can ever think of being - a colourful dress, long hair, a flute - and the way he is standing is a dancing gesture. In the past men used to wear ornaments; slowly slowly, something went wrong.
Man is the only abnormal animal on the earth. Something went wrong and the roles changed: the woman became very interested in beautifying herself, in cosmetics and dress and hair style, and man became very very ordinary, non-expressive. That has happened in language too. Men are more silent; the women go on gossiping. But if you look into nature it is just otherwise: the male goes on gossiping and the female is silent.
That's why I am giving you the name Mayuri. Become more and more silent, absorb rather than express, contain rather than overflow. And the more you can contain, the greater it will be; the more you contain, the higher it will rise. It is just as if you dam a river and then its level starts rising because more and more water is collecting; more and more water is collecting and the river becomes a great reservoir.
If you can contain, then you start moving upwards. That upward movement will bring you to god.
[A visitor asks: whether I should develop my individual self or whether I should go out into the world and work. I feel there are so many problems; I have been working with them for a few years, in the outside world as it were. I tend to feel that one's own spiritual path can be developed, and perhaps as fast, by committing oneself in service.
Osho checks his energy.]
Continue working as you are; you will grow in the world. The temptation will come many times to you in the feeling that it would be far better to leave everything and just work on yourself; but you will not be able to work that way. You are basically an extrovert, your energy is flowing out. And it always happens that the extrovert thinks that it would be far better to be inside because he feels tired of the world and people and the thousand and one things. To introverts also the temptation comes of, 'What am I doing here with closed eyes, sitting with myself? Why am I wasting my time?
Why should I not go into the world and do things as everybody else is?'
The opposite always remains attractive; that has to be remembered, that's the temptation. But your energy is out-flowing so your growth will be in the world. Renouncing the world will not be helpful to you; it will cripple you, it will not be the right soil for your growth. And these are the basic types - the introvert and the extrovert.
The introvert grows only when he is alone, unrelated, unburdened, without any responsibility. The extrovert grows only when there are great responsibilities and great challenges and great crises every day. Mm? facing the crisis, encountering the crisis, solving those problems, he becomes mature, he becomes steel inside; but that is a by-product. He fights outside, and in fighting outside he grows inside.
There is no need to change. Just put a little more energy into meditation, mm? - if you work in the outside world for twenty-three hours a day, then give one hour to meditation; one hour will be enough for you for introversion. And even the introvert has to give some time to extroversion, because life needs balance. Even a Buddha cannot sit continuously under a tree; he has to walk up and down, he has to do something. Life cannot exist with only one pole; the other pole need not be too much but a little bit of it is needed. Each man has a woman inside and each woman has a man inside.
You must have seen the yin-yang Chinese picture: the yin and the yang are both meeting together and making the circle. There is another thing that is even more important: one is black, another is white, but the white has a black spot in it and the black has a white spot in it, as if two fish are meeting together. But each has something of the other inside it. No extrovert is purely extrovert, no man is purely man; no introvert is pure introvert because no woman is purely woman. They inter-penetrate. The only difference is of proportion, emphasis.
You are emphatically extrovert. Simply enjoy being in the world and go on side-by-side: once in a while go for a retreat, for a few days disappear from the world, that's perfectly good, but don't renounce it. You belong to the world and you will grow through it.