Prem means love, nisargam means natural, spontaneous, effortless - spontaneous love. And that is going to be your path. So just make it a point to remember that there are a few things which cannot be done by effort. Love is one of those things, sleep is another. You cannot do anything to bring sleep. You can simply wait... it comes. If you do anything, you will disturb. The very effort will become a hindrance.
There is a certain law; hypnotists call it 'the law of the reverse effect'. If you make too much effort to bring sleep, the total result will be that sleep will become impossible - just the opposite will be the result.
So if one wants to fall into deep sleep, one need not do anything. One should simply wait. In that waiting, in that relaxation, something out of your own unconscious starts happening, it starts spreading into your conscious - that's what sleep is. And the same is true about love. Sleep comes from your unconscious and love comes from your superconscious.
The ordinary psychology divides the mind into conscious and unconscious. The yoga psychology divides it into three: the conscious, the unconscious, and the superconscious. Just before freud, the western psychology was not aware of the unconscious. They thought only the conscious was there.
Then it was a great discovery to know that just below the conscious there is a tremendous space - absolutely in dark... the dark continent of the soul . And it is nine times bigger than the conscious; the conscious is just the tip of the iceberg.
Now a second discovery is coming closer every day. It is not good to call it a discovery - it is a rediscovery, because yoga has known it always. Just as below the conscious there is the unconscious, above the conscious there is the superconscious. Just as the unconscious is the dark night, the superconscious is pure light. And all the experiences of the mystics who talk about god as pure light, are nothing but the experiences of the superconscious.
You are just in the middle - everybody is just in the middle. The conscious is the link, the bridge, between the unconscious and the superconscious.
The unconscious is the whole of nature, and the superconscious is god. In between the two is the man - just a wavering, a continuous wavering to be this or to be that, to be or not to be... a continuous wavering to be an animal or to become a god. Of course the pull of the animal is great, because it is our past. We have been on that journey, and god is completely unknown. So the unconscious goes on manipulating us and the superconscious is not yet contacted.
Sleep comes from the unconscious, love comes from the super-conscious, but both come in the same way - when you are waiting, when you are not doing anything.
So make it a point to wait. Sometimes in the morning when sleep is gone and you are feeling very fresh, wait for love.
That's why morning became the most important thing in all the religions. It is for a specific reason.
If you wait in the night you will fall asleep. You are tired, and the unconscious is ready to spread its darkness on the conscious. So if you pray in the night - if you simply wait - there is every possibility you will not be able. If you do something, you can remain awake, but if you are simply waiting, not doing anything, then the night is not the right time; the morning is the right time.
In the morning the sleep is over, the unconscious has done its work, the conscious is fresh, and there is no possibility to fall into sleep. That is the moment - if you can wait without doing anything - that you will have a new dimension opening, a new door, a new light filtering in... and that comes from above.
This name - prem nisargam - will mean: wait for the spontaneous love.
Veet means beyond, and spardha means competition - beyond competition, beyond jealousy. And that's what a religious man has to be - beyond jealousy and beyond competition.
Competition and jealousy is the root cause of all misery. There is no good competition - all competition is bad. Notwithstanding what the politicians and the priests say, no competition is friendly. All competition is hostile... it is violent.
It is because of competition that you cannot feel god, because you are continuously in emnity with existence. God can be known only in a non-competitive mind - not only non-competitive, but in a mind that is not even making any comparisons. You are yourself - there is no need to compare yourself with anybody.
Once you start comparing, competition arises. If you think somebody else has more money than you, suddenly there is competition. If you think somebody is more healthy than you, there is competition.
And whenever there is competition, you become imitative, because you start imitating those people you feel have more than you. That's how one is distracted from one's own being. One has to be at one's own centre if one wants to meet god.
These two words are very important: either people are imitative, or they are self-centred and they have initiative. Imitative people never have any initiative; they are carbon copies. Never be a carbon copy - be original! And that is possible only if you are non-competitive.
[Osho had given a sannyasin for a feeling of emptiness in his solar plexus (see 'The Great Nothing', October 9th).
The sannyasin now reports: I'm living a very full, rich life here - but nothing seems real except this pounding in my heart, and then waves of anxiety sometimes in my navel. The only relief I have is when I'm with you in the morning. That's all that seems to have any reality to me now. Everything else is fading away.]
Nothing to be worried about, mm? And you cannot do anything - only time is needed. That's why I go on postponing it, but I should tell you: only time is needed.
It was in the stomach, now it has moved to the heart. You have not done anything - it has moved on its own. Now when the work at the heart is completed, it will move to the throat, and the higher it moves, the better you will feel.
And certainly you will feel the world is unreal, because the world is real only when the energy is at the sex centre. Never again is the world real. When the energy is at the lowest centre, the world is real, because only from the lowest centre does the world connect. So for a sexual person the world is very real. Hence all religions are so much against sex, and this for certain reason.
I am not against sex, but I can understand their standpoint. They are against sex because they know that only from sex is man connected with the world. Once the energy moves away from sex, you start moving away from the world. Hence the feeling of unreality - that everything seems to be unreal.
That's why, when you are close to me, you feel a little reality, because with me you can connect from a different centre. With the world you can connect only from the sex centre; there is no other centre from which to connect with the world.
It comes to every disciple's life - that one day the world becomes unreal and only the master is there.
And unless this has happened, a disciple is just on the periphery - he has not yet moved in. One day another thing - even more shattering - happens: even the master becomes unreal. Because there is a moment in your energy growth where you cannot even connect with your master.
From the heart, it is very simple to connect with the master... very simple. From the throat, it will become a little more difficult. From the third eye centre, a little more difficult, but still you will be connected. Beyond the third eye, when the energy moves, even the master is unreal. Then only god is real... nothing else is real.
I know it is arduous and difficult and sometimes very painful... but things are going well. If you do anything, you will simply hinder the process. It is a tremendously valuable process. You have not done anything - it has started on its own. So you cannot do anything really - you have just to give it it's way; don't stand in the way, that's all.
You are feeling happy, and you are feeling full, so there is no need to worry - let the world be unreal!
That's why all the mystics down the centuries have been saying, 'The world is maya.' It is.... The concept of maya is not a philosophical doctrine; it is an experience.
For example, for a small child whose sex centre has not still started functioning, the world of sex is unreal, meaningless. If a couple is making love, the child will simply be surprised at what they are doing. Are they fighting or something? Is the man doing some violence to the woman? Because his own sex centre is not functioning yet, he cannot feel the reality of it. You cannot make a child understand that the whole world is mad after sex.
Or think about a small child who has not yet understood the meaning of money. If you give him a one hundred rupee note and a shining four anna coin, he will choose the four anna coin, not the hundred rupee note, because the shining coin will appeal to him more. His reality is different from your reality.
Your energy is moving away from the sex centre, and it is good - you should be happy about it.
And you cannot do anything - you can simply wait. As it has come to the heart, soon it will go to the throat. Then it will go to the third eye. When it has reached to the third eye, you will be able to understand everything. Then you will not raise the problem about what is happening. You will accept it.
And it will be so moe and more: I will be your only reality and the whole world will look dreamy. It will be there... but like a dream, a fiction, a myth. And I am not saying to make it a myth. It will begin to become a myth on its own. I am not saying to escape from it - I am saying live in it; let it be a myth, a fiction... enjoy it! I am not even saying to drop sex. Let things be natural! But this much you have to understand - that now you cannot do anything.
[The sannyasin adds: I went so deep in the soma group, and I see my whole life as a cry. That's all I see myself as - I'm just a cry!]
That's true! You are a cry and everybody else is a cry. But this same cry one day becomes roaring laughter; it is the same energy. One day you will laugh, mm? Don't be worried. And you are just in the middle of the cry and the laughter.
People are even satisfied when they are crying - at least they have something to do. You cannot even cry because it has become unreal, and you cannot laugh because that is far away, so you are in the limbo... just hanging. I can understand your trouble - every seeker has to pass through it - but it will end! And it will end sooner if you don't brood about it too much.
Just leave it by the side. Just say to god, 'You are doing something, so do; I am ready! If it is going to be a surgical operation, let it be!' It is a surgical operation. The energy is trying to find new centres to function from, higher centres to function from. Just wait prayerfully, thankfully....
[The encounter group is present. One member says he is stuck and the leader comments that he is very tricky and in his head.]
That is one of his problems - that he is intellectual. That is one of his problems, so that is how it has to be. He's a trained intellect, and he can easily find ways to escape. He is so deeply trained that he can not only deceive others - he can deceive himself; that's the trouble. And he knows everything - that too is a problem.
When somebody comes to the group not knowing anything about group processes, it is one thing. When somebody knows about group processes and how the mind functions, he never really becomes a participant; he remains a watcher on the side. Deep down the mind goes on saying, 'Yes, I know this. I know how it works.' This very knowledge becomes slippery and tricky.
But he is trying - he is very sincere in that way. From the head he is tricky, but from the heart very sincere. And there is a struggle with him. That is his problem - that he is still more in the head than in the heart, but he wants to come to the heart. His effort is sincere. He may deceive himself, it may take a long time, it may not happen soon - but he wants to move to the heart.
(to the participant) So for the remaining two days, simply don't try. And that may also be one of the causes: when you know that you can slip, you try hard not to slip, but that itself becomes a stuck point. That's maybe why you are feeling stuck.
[The participant, who has a black eye, said he got in touch with his violence... but he was afraid of fighting with one participant who was a personal friend in case he got injured.]
Yes, that can be one of the causes... that can be. There is no need to be afraid. At the most he can kill you (chuckling), that's all! (laughter) ... Yes, that's all, at the most - and he will not do that! That is the worst that can happen. Nothing to be worried about. Even if in an authentic moment of real anger, real love - any moment in which you are totally absorbed - death happens, nothing is better than that. That will bring you a tremendous freedom.
In mohammedan scriptures, they say that if a person dies on the battlefield fighting a religious war, he will go to paradise. Now this just looks like propaganda, but there is a subtle meaning in it. I have been pondering over it and there is a subtle meaning. Only in a religious war can a person be really total.
There is a famous anecdote about Calipha Omar. He was fighting with an enemy for thirty years.
The armies of both Calipha Omar and the enemy were fighting again and again. The battle had been prolonged for thirty years, on and off; again and again it would explode, and nothing had come to a decisive point. In the last battle it happened that Calipha came directly against the enemy, and he killed his horse.
The enemy fell on the ground, and Calipha jumped on him. He was sitting on his chest with his spear in his hand - and the enemy was totally helpless. A single moment and the spear would go into the heart, and the enemy would be finished... and a thirty year effort concluded in a victorious way.
But what did the enemy do? He spat on Calipha Omar's face. For a single moment, Calipha Omar stopped; then he got up and told the enemy, 'We will fight again tomorrow.'
The enemy said, 'But what is the matter? You surprise me! I could not leave such a moment if I were on top of you with a spear in hand and you helpless! I would have killed you, Omar! What are you doing?! Have you gone mad?! For thirty years we both have been waiting for such a moment, and god has given you the opportunity to be victorious. Why have you suddenly left me?'
Omar said, 'I was fighting for god, and I was fighting for mohammed - I was fighting for religion.
Right now - the moment you spat on me - the fight became personal. I wanted to kill you... I, as omar, wanted to kill you. I was no more a representative of mohammed. Suddenly, by spitting on my face, you changed my whole quality. You were my personal enemy; I had forgotten completely about Islam, about Mohammed, about God. No, that will be a sin. I cannot commit that. Tomorrow we start again. It is not a personal fight.
'I was totally absorbed in it because I was not there. By spitting on my face, you brought me back - you helped my ego to arise. I wanted to kill - that's why I am not killing you! Before that moment I was nobody - I was just a vehicle. Whatsoever was happening, happened.'
I feel that if in such a moment a person dies on the battlefield - when he is total, no personal fight, nothing of it; just pure energy - he is going to go to paradise; it is not just propaganda.
But I can understand. One recoils when one feels that something can be too much. We only go so far. You could go with others because with others you were not related. You could not go so deep with [your friend] because you have been related to him.
It is very difficult to fight with friends because they really can turn into enemies. Only a friend can be an enemy. If you fight with a stranger, the fight can never go so far - no! Because you are strangers - how can the fight go so far? You can play! How can you really fight with a stranger? You can play the game - it is a mock fight.
So you allowed it with others, but with [your friend] you didn't allow, because with friends we have deep enmities. With friends we have many problems. With friends, of course it is bound to be so...
many moments suppressed, many jealousies. And there is every possibility that the other maybe carrying the same thing - that's why you became afraid. Things can go too far because you are both loaded!
With a stranger you are not loaded, and the stranger is not loaded with you. With a stranger you are not really fighting with him, you are fighting with somebody - maybe with your father, and he is just a representative; maybe with your mother, and she is just a representative - but you are not fighting with the person really. In fact you will feel deep compassion for the person. Even hitting him you will feel deep compassion. He has never harmed you - why are you hitting him?
But with a person you have been related to, it is very difficult. The fear - that things can go too far is bound to arise. Loaded, things can explode. That's why you are feeling this with him. For these remaining two days, let it be with [your friend]. If death comes, death is good. And it is good to die by the hand of a friend, mm ? (laughter) Nothing to be worried about.
It will be very very good, and your friendship will grow deeper... because if this fear is there, then something is missing in the friendship. When this fear has disappeared, and you have known him and what he can do if he becomes angry, then you have known him totally - all his faces, his loving face, his face of anger. If he is lifegiving, he can become a death knell too. For these remaining two days, let it be a direct encounter with [your friend]. Let things happen - nothing to be worried about.
If you die, you go to paradise. (chuckling; laughter) [A new sannyasin says: I have a new book coming out; I will be on television. Being a sannyasin on television is going to be maybe a little strange, and my mind is not totally resigned to that... it's difficult to be a sannyasin in the West doing what I do.]
These are just rationalisations. That is not the problem at all. Once you are, you are. If one day you suddenly find that you have become blind, then you will be blind. You will know that it is difficult to walk blind, but then you will have a walking dog, or you will find some way.
It is going to be a little difficult. It is meant for that - I want to create that stir. In orange it will be difficult for you. With the mala you will have to answer people. You will have to find new answers; new questions will be arising. You will be in a new context. And of course you will have to resettle everything that you have already settled there. It will take only a few days. Once it is resettled again, you will see that you have changed - you have come to a higher place. It has not been a loss - you have gained through it. It is a challenge.
All challenges are difficult in the beginning because one has to learn new things, new behaviour, new responses. But if you feel that back home.... And you can be cowardly about it. You can hide the mala, and you can hide the orange dress.... Then it is better to leave it before you go. At least I would not like you to feel guilty about it. Otherwise it will create guilt in your mind.
And if you do anything cowardly, deceptive, that is bad. It is better not to be a sannyasin. If you are going to remain in orange, with the mala, on TV and everywhere, then decide it.
It is going to be difficult, that's true. You will have to face friends and old colleagues, and they will laugh, and it will be ridiculous. They will think you have gone mad! They have thought that you are a very rational man. and what has happened to you? You were such an intellectual and you have become a victim. You have been brainwashed or hypnotised and a thousand and one things.
If you can laugh and enjoy all that, it is going to give you great pay-off. The same people who laugh in the beginning, will start becoming interested, deeply interested about what has happened to you.
If you can simply remain quiet, silent, unaffected, or you can simply laugh about the whole thing, and you can simply say, 'Yes, I have become mad, I have gone mad, and that is that!' you will be benefitted; those friends will be benefitted. But this is possible only if you take a clear-cut decision.
So think about it!
One thing is certain: I never want to make anybody feel guilty in any reference to me. I would not like you to feel guilty, so if you hide it, you will feel guilty, and you will be responsible for that.
And this is my experience: if you do something that you also feel should not be done - if you do something like cheating - you will take revenge; you will be angry with me. Because of me you had to do this cheating, and you are such a sincere man, and you have never done anything like cheating anybody. You have hidden the mala and the box, and you will feel the guilt.
Now, when you feel the guilt, naturally you have to take revenge. This man is making you feel a certain pain, and this man is making you feel insincere. Certainly you will be angry with him, and you will start taking revenge. It is better to finish it - then at least you will never take any revenge.
You will not be angry with me; you can at least be friendly towards me.
So before you go, you decide. If you feel that it will be difficult for you, impossible for you, give back sannyas. And don't feel that there is any problem in it. I give you sannyas as happily as I take it away. But if you are going to keep it, then go with a decisive mind, because the farther away you will go from india, the more and more wavering will come to the mind. Because here it is one thing....
In fact if you come here without orange you will feel guilty - the whole world is orange here. People who are not sannyasins, even they wear orange just to feel that they are insiders. There the situation will be diametrically opposite. So you think about it very clearly... and don't rationalise!
Now, I am particular about it, and more particular about you. When somebody else comes, I am not so insistent... but you have a public life. You have friends, you have followers, you are related to many people. I would not like to throw you into any ugly situation. Either you are already a sannyasin and you have the courage to declare it, whatsoever the cost, or you are not a sannyasin - and both are clear-cut. But just in the middle is dangerous... and dangerous for your own growth too.
If you were not in public life I would not have said anything, because there are many sannyasins who go on cheating....
But I would insist with you. I want it to be very clear and straight. Mm? so you think about it.