The most blissful moment -- when you cannot find yourself
WHEN I SIT IN FRONT OF YOU AND LISTEN TO YOU SPEAK, I FEEL AS IF A PROCESS OF OSMOSIS IS HAPPENING. I FIND I DON'T INTELLECTUALLY LISTEN. IS THIS THE RIGHT WAY OR AM I MISSING SOMETHING?
This is the right way.
If you listen to me intellectually you miss, not something, but all. Intellectual listening is a kind of deafness. When I say something, you can listen to the word. You have a mind, a library in the mind of all your prejudices, philosophies, ideologies. The word has to go through all those preconceived patterns, and by the time it reaches to you it is no longer the same.
It has changed so many times, passing through the whole process of intellectual listening, that when it comes out it is absolutely something else. And yet it appears to be rationally the right thing; it fits with your mind. The process of listening has managed to cut it here and there, change it here and there; to color it here and there, to make it what you want it to be, not what it is. And you will agree with it; it is your own idea, it has nothing to do with me.
Listening intellectually is not listening at all. It is a way of avoiding. The right way is that you don't bring your mind in and you let me go into your innermost being without being hindered. Then there will be an understanding. Then there will be a communion, a real listening, because in the very process of listening, you have changed.
Now the agreement that arises in your being is not agreeing with your mind, it is agreeing with something new, which your mind knows nothing of. The mind is always old, and the truth is always new; they never meet, they never coexist.
You are fortunate that you can listen the right way -- putting the mind aside, just allowing me to sink deeper and deeper within you. Then even though words have been used, silence has been conveyed. Even though words have been used, that which cannot be said has been said -- at least has been heard. And saying is not important, hearing is important.
Right listening means you will never ask how to do it. For example, if I am talking about silence and you are listening the right way, you will never ask how to be silent, because in the very listening you would have tasted it. In the very listening you will have experienced it -- the window has opened.
The people who listen intellectually are bound to ask later on how to do it. Their question about how to do it signifies that they have missed what was conveyed to them.
It is not only words that I am saying to you -- I am conveying my very heart. The words are only vehicles. Through the intellect the vehicles will reach, but I will be left behind.
When you are listening without the mind, the vehicle becomes unimportant; its only use is that it helps me to reach to you. It is my outstretched hand, so that I can touch your heart.
I REMEMBER YOU TALKING ABOUT EYES AND LOOKING INTO PEOPLE'S EYES AND HIDING THROUGH NOT LOOKING DIRECTLY INTO SOMEONE'S EYES. AFTER THIS DISCOURSE I DROPPED MY GLASSES, WHICH I HAVE HAD SINCE I WAS ONE YEAR OLD. NOT WEARING THEM, I FOUND MYSELF BEING MORE OPEN IN LOOKING IN SOMEONE'S EYES, AND I FELT GREAT POWER IN MY EYES. WOULD YOU PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE PSYCHOLOGICAL NEED TO WEAR GLASSES?
It is something truly significant to understand.
No animal needs glasses. It is very strange why man needs glasses. The reasons are two:
the first is the physiological reason; and the second is the psychological.
The physiological reason is that our process of helping a mother to give birth to a child is basically wrong. For example, the child has been for nine months in deep darkness; his eyes are very delicate, fragile. And in any hospital where he is going to be born, he is going to face, immediately after the birth, glaring lights all around. That is the first shock to the whole delicate system of his eyes. And eyes are the most delicate part of your body -- softer than a rose petal, very fragile and very important, because eighty percent of your life's experience depends on them. Only twenty percent is contributed by your other senses.
That is one of the reasons why a blind man suddenly creates a deep compassion in you.
The deaf man does not create the same compassion. He is also missing something -- he cannot hear. The dumb cannot speak.... In any other way the body may be crippled, but nothing can create more compassion in you than a blind man. Unknowingly, unconsciously, there is an understanding that the blind man is the poorest.
Eighty percent of his life experience is cut off; he is living only on twenty percent. His life has no color, his life has no experience of beauty, his life has no experience of proportion. His life has missed the beautiful sunsets and the starry night. His eyes have missed millions of other eyes which are loaded with experience; and to be in contact with them is to be in contact with different worlds.
But the way the hospitals have decided to give birth to a new child is dangerous. First they spoil the eyes. Second, they destroy the trust of the child. The child has lived for nine months in the mother's womb with immense trust -- the question of doubt does not arise. Everything that he wants he gets; in fact before he wants, he gets it. No responsibility, no worry, no question of time. He does not think of tomorrow, and he has no memories of yesterdays. He lives moment to moment, utterly joyous. There is nothing to make him sad, nothing to make him miserable.
But the moment he is born, his whole life goes through a great tragic change. The doctors are in a hurry; they cannot even wait for two minutes. They want to cut the cord that joins the child with the mother, immediately -- and they cut it immediately, without bothering that the child has not yet breathed on his own, that his own system has not started functioning. They have cut the connection with the life source of the mother. This is one of the deep wounds that will be carried all along through his life.
And then to make the child breathe, they will hang it upside down and hit on his buttocks -- a great reception! And because of the hit the child starts breathing. But this breathing is not natural and spontaneous. If they had just waited two or three minutes and left the child on his mother's belly.... He was inside nine months; with just three minutes outside on the belly -- the same warmth, the same woman, the same energy -- he would have started breathing on his own. And then to cut the cord would have been absolutely logical, rational, scientific.
And everything else that is being done takes no account of the implications. The child has been in the mother's womb in a certain warmth. He has been floating. The best way will be, once he starts breathing on his own, just to put him in a small bathtub of warm water consisting of the same chemicals as the mother's womb -- it is exactly the same as ocean water. And that's what makes the evolutionists certain that man was born in the ocean.
You will be surprised to know, the first incarnation of God in Hinduism is a fish. It is very strange -- just the idea... but to them God was life. And just a little translation is needed: instead of saying the reincarnation of God was as a fish, all that is needed is to say that life's beginning was as a fish.
Allow the child the same atmosphere so he does not feel, from the very first moment, in a stranger's world, afraid. But we make him afraid. We destroy his delicate eyes, we destroy his spontaneity, we even force his breathing. We don't give him a natural environment, one to which he is accustomed.
All these small things are going to affect his whole life. For example, whenever he is in anxiety, his breathing will become erratic. Whenever he is afraid, his breathing will be immediately affected. And sooner or later -- because only man uses his eyes for reading, and his eyes are no longer as powerful as nature had made them -- the child finds his eyes are weakening. He cannot see small letters, small figures, or he cannot see faraway things, and then the glasses become necessary. If glasses are avoided then his eyes will go on deteriorating. The glasses are simply to help him, just to compensate for the damage that has been done.
But glasses have their own psychology. With the glasses you are always behind a curtain, in some way hiding -- not facing life as it is, trying to avoid this way or that, never being straight, sincere. Glasses are helping you to protect your eyes, but they bring their own problems with them. And these are the problems. They stand between you and the world, between you and the person you love, between you and the person you are communicating with.
Because of the glasses you never come in direct contact with the eyes of other people.
And that is missing a great experience, because people are basically their eyes. If you can see into a person's eyes, its depth will be that person's depth. A cunning person will not allow you to see directly into his eyes, because a cunning person's eyes reveal his cunningness.
The eyes are just an opening -- the cunning person is afraid; he will always look sideways. He will be talking to you but looking at something else; his talking and his seeing will not be in the same direction. He will be listening to you but his eyes will not be concentrated on you. The man who wants to deceive you cannot confront you eye to eye. Only a simple, sincere person, a person with a loving heart and with no cunning desire will allow you to look into his eyes because he knows you will find his truth. He has nothing to hide.
So if you are using glasses, then use them only for particular purposes. If you need them for reading, use them for reading. If you use them continuously it is dangerous -- not to your eyes, but to your whole being. If you need them to look far away, you can use them; but don't make it part of your being.
Your glasses should never become part of your being. Only when necessary use them.
When you feel they are not necessary, put them away, so at least for long periods you are available to the world in your authenticity, and the world is available to you; there is no barrier.
You cannot do anything about the basic harm, but if you give birth to a child, it is better to give birth amongst your loving friends, with candlelights, with incense burning, with flowers all around. Give the child at least a good welcome to the world.
And don't be technical -- man is not a machine -- be human. Let him first breathe; then cut the connection with the mother. There is no hurry. He should be given the chance to be spontaneous; otherwise he will suffer his whole life troubles and problems concerned with breathing.
And there is no need for glaring lights; otherwise you have started already destroying his eyes. Soon he will need glasses. If you have been using them since you were one year old, that shows what we have been doing with children. And nobody tells you to use glasses only when you need them; otherwise don't let them become an essential habit.
It is known about Mulla Nasruddin that one night he woke up and asked his wife, "Where are my glasses?"
She said, "What is the need in the middle of the night for glasses?"
He said, "I don't want to fight -- I am not in a position right now -- I will explain everything later on. First, my glasses!" With his glasses on he tried for a few minutes, then he said, "You destroyed it. If you had given them to me immediately, perhaps I may not have missed. I was having such a beautiful dream; just then I remembered, `I cannot see without glasses.' Such a beautiful dream -- I must be missing much. And you are so stupid that you started arguing with me.
"When I was asking for my glasses, you should have understood there must be some need, and later on you could have discussed it. But at that very time... and the gap became so big that I tried again and again with the glasses, but the dream was broken. And with it broken I could not manage to catch up with it again.
"And it was not only just a beautiful dream, it had something to do with finances too. A man was promising to give me money, and we were haggling. He wanted to purchase something, and I had brought him up to ninety-nine rupees. But I was stubborn -- I was trying to bring him to one hundred rupees; and it was only a question of one rupee. And the thing I was selling was not worth twenty rupees. I would have given it to him for ninety-nine, but I wanted to see the man accurately, and I wanted to count the money accurately. The glasses were needed.
"After I put on the glasses, I was saying to the man, `Wherever you are, come back! Okay -- ninety-nine I will accept, ninety-eight I will accept. I am willing to give it even for ninety.' But nobody responded. Just because of these glasses the whole profit was lost.
And I don't know if I can ever meet this man again, because in the first place I cannot recognize him without my glasses. Even if I meet him tomorrow on the street, I will not be able to recognize him, because what I was seeing I don't know whether it was true or not true."
People are so accustomed to their glasses that they become almost their substitute eyes.
Then it is dangerous. Your eyes need a little freedom: once in a while take the glasses off.
And there are a few exercises available. Do those exercises which will make your eyes stronger, healthier, and perhaps you may not need the glasses at all.
MY WHOLE LIFE I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH TWO HUGE DESIRES: A DESIRE TO LOVE AND BE LOVED, AND THE DESIRE TO UNDERSTAND AND BE UNDERSTOOD. TO SEE HOW MISUNDERSTOOD YOU ARE BY THE WORLD AND BY YOUR FRIENDS ASTOUNDS ME, AND YOUR NOT BEING AFFECTED BY IT ASTOUNDS ME EVEN MORE. FOR THE PAST TEN YEARS I HAVE BEEN CONSUMED WITH DESIRE TO UNDERSTAND YOU EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY. TODAY I FEEL I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING, AND YET MY DESIRE TO BE UNDERSTOOD HAS DIMINISHED. WHEN YOU SPEAK, THE JOY OF BEING BEYOND THESE TWO DUALITIES IS HEAVEN.
The desire to love and to be loved, the desire to understand and to be understood are very instinctive, very natural -- but very binding, imprisoning. That's why, even if for a few moments listening to me -- if you can forget these two desires, in that transcendence you will find the ultimate in joy.
I have been misunderstood perhaps more than anyone else ever, but it has not affected me, for the simple reason that there is no desire to be understood. It is their problem if they don't understand, it is not my problem. If they misunderstand, it is their problem and their misery. I am not going to waste my sleep because millions of people are misunderstanding me. If I was concerned about being understood they would have driven me mad. But they have not been able to even scratch a little bit.
All their misunderstanding is their problem. They are suffering from it, they are paying for it. Why should I be bothered by it? I have said what I felt is true. I have said it, not to be understood -- I have said it because I wanted to share. If they are not willing, it is up to them; I cannot force them.
But both these desires -- to understand and to be understood -- are together. Unless you understand, you cannot drop the desire to be understood. Once you understand just the simple existence of your being, both disappear. There is nothing more to understand, and there is no question that anybody should understand you.
And the same is true about love.
The moment you understand what love is, you experience what love is, you become love.
Then there is no need in you to be loved, and there is no need in you to love. Loving will be your simple, spontaneous existence, your very breathing. You cannot do anything else; you will be simply loving.
Now if in return, love does not come to you, you will not feel hurt, for the simple reason that only the person who has become love can love. You can give only that which you have. Asking people to love you -- people who don't have love in their life, who have not come to the source of their being where love has its shrine -- how can they love you?
They can pretend. They can say, they can even believe, but sooner or later these things are going to... it is going to be known that it is only a pretension, that it is only acting, that it is hypocrisy.
There may not be an intention to deceive you, but what can the person do? You ask for love, and the other person also wants love. Both understand that you are expected to love, that only then can you get love -- so you both try in every possible way to take the posture of love. But the posture is empty. And both are going to discover it, and both are going to complain about it against the other, that it is not right. From the very beginning it has been two beggars begging from each other, and both have only empty begging bowls.
Both are pretending that they can give, but their basic desire is to get. If you don't have it, you cannot give it. And those who have it -- this is to be understood very clearly -- those who have found the source of love within themselves are no longer in need of being loved. And they will be loved.
They will love for no other reason but simply because they have too much of it -- just as a rain cloud wants to rain, just as a flower wants to release its fragrance, with no desire to get anything. The reward of love is in loving, not in getting love.
And these are the mysteries of life, that if a person is rewarded just in loving people, many will love him. Because by being in contact with him, they will slowly start finding the source within themselves. Now they know one person at least who showers love and whose love is not out of any need. And the more he shares and showers his love, the more it grows.
The same is true about understanding. If you are close to a person of understanding you will see that he shares; sharing is his joy, it is not his business. He gives wholeheartedly, knowing perfectly well that he will find many doors closed in his face, but his understanding is deep enough to understand these people who misunderstand him.
They are miserable. They are afraid to let his understanding reach them, they are afraid of his light. They start closing their windows and their doors. They are afraid of his presence. They will condemn, they will create confusion, they will create rumors, they will create lies; they will do everything to prevent this man's light, his understanding, his insight from spreading. And the reason is that they are afraid.
This man's presence is a great fear to them. In his presence they become suddenly naked - - with all their jealousies, with all their miseries, with all their pain, with all their wounds.
In his presence they cannot hide. Before his eyes they are as if before x-rays which will penetrate to their deepest core and reveal all they have been somehow hiding from the society, and creating a certain good image. They are just the opposite within.
I have never been hurt by any misunderstanding. It was part of my understanding that it is going to be so, and once you are free of the desire to love and to be loved, you will love; but it will not be a desire, it will be an overflowing energy. And you will be loved, but it will not be an expectation, it will be a surprise.
Once you understand just yourself and you have gone beyond all kinds of misunderstandings, your light is so clear and bright, your certainty is so absolute, that the whole world can condemn you but it will not in any way hurt you. It will simply create more compassion and more effort to make these people somehow come out of their darkness and see the light.
And one thing is certain that you mention -- that once both these desires are calmed down, one feels in heaven. One really is in heaven.
One has always been; it was just that one was getting disturbed by small things and forgetting the immense beauty and joy the whole existence is ready to give to you -- and without any price. It is just yours for the asking.
I HAVE TOO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU BECAUSE IN YOU I SEE A PART OF MYSELF, AND IN THAT PART I SEE EVERYONE. PLEASE NUDGE ME IF I AM IN THE WRONG LANE.
You are in the wrong space.
You see a part of you in me. That is going to create many problems, because I don't have any part of you in me. And that is the beginning of a long journey; then in that part you see everybody else and all their problems. Then the small part you had seen in me becomes so big -- because in that small part you are seeing everybody -- that you are going to forget me completely. I will be covered all over with other people's parts -- thick, not a thin layer, because everybody's parts....
Just try the other way: see me just as a small corner in you. Give it to me, see me there, and in it see Chuang Tzu, see Gautam Buddha, see Socrates. See all the flowers that humanity has produced, and you will become a totally new person. Just seeing me, and in me bringing all those who can somehow be connected with me, you will be surrounded by the very salt of the earth, by all that is glorious. And you will disappear in it: you will not be able to find yourself, find where you have gone.
You will meet Socrates, you will meet Pythagoras, you will meet Heraclitus, you will meet strange but beautiful beings -- Bodhidharma or Diogenes or Dionysius -- but you will not find yourself. In fact, yourself does not exist. And the meeting of all these people within you will make you a paradise.
So please just give it a little turn: rather than seeing yourself in me -- if you can do that, why can't you do this? it is the same -- see me in you. And I am not asking for your whole being because I want you to leave it for other guests. Just give me a little corner, just a contact center from where buddhas can enter in you.
But we are so accustomed to misery that we can do anything to be miserable. And we have forgotten the language of blissfulness, so to make even a small effort seems to be very arduous. But I am asking you to do the same -- just give it a little turn. It will be far easier, and the reward is going to be enormous. You will be lost, and you will never be found.
And that is the most blissful moment -- when you cannot find yourself, and there is just utter silence.