It is a very complex question.
You will have to understand one of the most fundamental things about meditation -- that no technique leads to meditation.
The old so-called techniques and the new scientific biofeedback techniques are the same as far as meditation is concerned.
Meditation is not a byproduct of any technique.
Meditation happens beyond mind. No technique can go beyond mind.
But there is going to be a great misunderstanding in scientific circles, and it has a certain basis. The basis of all misunderstanding is: When the being of a person is in a state of meditation, it creates certain waves in the mind. These waves can be created from the outside by technical means. But those waves will not create meditation -- this is the misunderstanding.
Meditation creates those waves; it is the mind reflecting the inner world.
You cannot see what is happening inside. But you can see what is happening in the mind.
Now there are sensitive instruments... we can judge what kind of waves are there when a person is asleep, what kinds of waves are there when a person is dreaming, what kinds of waves are there when a person is in meditation.
But by creating the waves, you cannot create the situation -- because those waves are only symptoms, indicators.
It is perfectly good, you can study them. But remember that there is no shortcut to meditation, and no mechanical device can be of any help. In fact, meditation needs no technique -- scientific or otherwise.
Meditation is simply an understanding.
It is not a question of sitting silently, it is not a question of chanting a mantra. It is a question of understanding the subtle workings of the mind. As you understand those workings of the mind a great awareness arises in you which is not of the mind. That awareness arises in your being, in your soul, in your consciousness.
Mind is only a mechanism, but when that awareness arises it is bound to create a certain energy pattern around it. That energy pattern is noted by the mind. Mind is a very subtle mechanism.
And you are studying from the outside, so at the most you can study the mind. Seeing that whenever a person is silent, serene, peaceful, a certain wave pattern always, inevitably appears in the mind, the scientific thinking will say: if we can create this wave pattern in the mind, through some biofeedback technology, then the being inside will reach the heights of awareness.
This is not going to happen.
It is not a question of cause and effect.
These waves in the mind are not the cause of meditation; they are, on the contrary, the effect. But from the effect you cannot move towards the cause. It is possible that by biofeedback you can create certain patterns in the mind and they will give a feeling of peace, silence and serenity to the person. Because the person himself does not know what meditation is and has no way of comparing, he may be misled into believing that this is meditation -- but it is not. Because the moment the biofeedback mechanism stops, the waves disappear, and the silence and the peace and the serenity also disappear.
And you may go on practicing with those scientific instruments for years; it will not change your character, it will not change your morality, it will not change your individuality. You will remain the same.
Meditation transforms. It takes you to higher levels of consciousness and changes your whole lifestyle. It changes your reactions into responses to such an extent that it is unbelievable that the person who would have reacted in the same situation in anger is now acting in deep compassion, with love -- in the same situation.
Meditation is a state of being, arrived at through understanding.
It needs intelligence, it does not need techniques.
There is no technique that can give you intelligence. Otherwise, we would have changed all the idiots into geniuses; all the mediocre people would have become Albert Einsteins, Bertrand Russells, Jean-Paul Sartres. There is no way to change your intelligence from the outside, to sharpen it, to make it more penetrating, to give it more insight. It is simply a question of understanding, and nobody else can do it for you -- no machine, no man.
For centuries the so-called gurus have been cheating humanity. Now, in the future instead of gurus, these guru machines will cheat humanity.
The gurus were cheating people, saying that "We will give you a mantra. You repeat the mantra." Certainly by repeating a mantra continuously, you create the energy field of a certain wave length; but the man remains the same, because it is only on the surface.
Just as if you have throw a pebble into the silent lake and ripples arise and move all over the lake from one corner to the other corner -- but it does not touch the depths of the lake at all. The depths are completely unaware of what is happening on the surface.
And what you see on the surface is also illusory. You think that ripples are moving -- that's not true. Nothing is moving.
When you throw a pebble into the lake, it is not that ripples start moving. You can check it by putting a small flower on the water. You will be surprised: the flower remains in the same place. If the waves were moving and going towards the shore, they would have taken the flower with them. The flower remains there. The waves are not moving, it is just the water going up and down in the same place, creating the illusion of movement.
The depths of the lake will not know anything about it. And there is going to be no change in the character, in the beauty of the lake by creating those waves.
Mind is between the world and you.
Whatever happens in the world, the mind is affected by it; and you can understand through the mind what is happening outside.
For example, you are seeing me -- you cannot see me; it is your mind that is affected by certain rays and creates a picture in the mind. You are inside, and from inside you see the picture. You don't see me; you can't see me.
The mind is the mediator. Just as when it is affected by the outside, the inner consciousness can read it -- what is happening outside -- what the scientists are trying to do is just the same: they are studying meditators and reading their wave lengths, the energy fields created by meditation. And naturally, the scientific approach is that if these certain patterns appear without any exception when a person is in meditation, then we have got the key; if we can create these patterns in the mind, then meditation is bound to appear inside.
That's where the fallacy is.
You can create the pattern in the mind....
And if the person does not know about meditation, he may feel a silence, a serenity -- for the moment, as long as those waves remain.
But you cannot deceive a meditator because the meditator will see that those patterns are appearing in the mind....
Mind is a lower reality, and the lower reality cannot change the higher reality. The mind is the servant; it cannot change the master.
But you can experiment.
Just remain aware that whether it is a biofeedback machine or a chanting of OM, it does not matter; it only creates a mental peace, and a mental peace is not meditation.
Meditation is the flight beyond the mind.
It has nothing to do with mental peace.
One of America's great thinkers, Joshua Liebman, has written a very famous book, PEACE OF MIND. I wrote him a letter many years ago when I came across the book, saying that "If you are sincere and honest, you should withdraw the book from the market because there is no such thing as peace of mind. Mind is the problem. When there is no mind then there is peace, so how there can be peace of mind? And any peace of mind is only fallacious; it simply means the noise has slowed down to such a point that you think it is silence. And you don't have anything to compare it with."
A man who knows what meditation is cannot be deceived by any techniques, because no technique can give you understanding of the workings of the mind.
For example, you feel anger, you feel jealousy, you feel hatred, you feel lust. Is there any technique that can help you to get rid of anger? of jealousy? of hatred? of sexual lust?
And if these things continue to remain, your lifestyle is going to remain the same as before.
There is only one way -- there has never been a second. There is one and only one way to understand that to be angry is to be stupid: watch anger in all its phases, be alert to it so it does not catch you unawares; remain watchful, seeing every step of the anger. And you will be surprised: that as awareness about the ways of anger grows, the anger starts evaporating.
And when the anger disappears, then there is a peace. Peace is not a positive achievement.
When the hatred disappears, there is love. Love is not a positive achievement.
When jealousy disappears, there is a deep friendliness towards all.
Try to understand....
But all the religions have corrupted your minds because they have not taught you how to watch, how to understand; instead they have given you conclusions -- that anger is bad.
And the moment you condemn something, you have already taken a certain position of judgment. You have judged. Now you cannot be aware.
Awareness needs a state of no-judgment.
And all the religions have been teaching people judgments: this is good, this is bad, this is sin, this is virtue -- this is the whole crap that for centuries man's mind has been loaded with. So, with everything -- the moment you see it -- there is immediately a judgment about it within you. You cannot simply see it, you cannot be just a mirror without saying anything.
Understanding arises by becoming a mirror, a mirror of all that goes on in the mind.
There is a beautiful story -- not just a story, but an actual historical fact.
One disciple of Gautam Buddha is going on a journey to spread his message. He has come to see Gautam Buddha and to get his blessings, and to ask if there is any last message, any last words to be said to him.
And Gautam Buddha said, "Just remember one thing: While walking, keep your gaze just four feet ahead, looking four feet ahead of you."
Since that day, for twenty-five centuries, Buddhist monks have walked in the same way.
That was a strategy to keep you from seeing women in particular. Those disciples were monks. They had taken the vow of celibacy.
Ananda, another of Gautam Buddha's disciples, could not understand what the matter was, why the monk should keep his eyes always focused four feet ahead. He inquired: "I want to know, what is the matter?"
Buddha said, "That's how he will avoid looking at a woman, at least a woman's face -- at the most he will see her feet."
But Ananda said, "There may be situations when a woman is in a danger. For example, she has fallen into a well and is shouting for help. What is your disciple supposed to do?
He will have to see her face, her body."
Buddha said, "In special situations he is allowed to see her, but it is not the rule, it is only the exception."
Ananda said, "What about touching? -- because there may be situations when a woman has fallen on the road. What is your disciple supposed to do? Should he help her to get up or not? Or an old woman wants to cross the road -- what is your disciple supposed to do?"
Buddha said, "As an exception -- but remember it is not a rule -- he can touch the woman with one condition, and if he cannot fulfill the condition he is not allowed the exceptions.
The condition is that he should remain just a mirror, he should not take any judgment, any attitude. `The woman is beautiful' -- that is a judgment. `The woman is fair' -- that is a judgment. He should remain a mirror, then he is allowed the exceptions. Otherwise, let the woman drown in the well -- somebody else will save her. You save yourself!"
What he is saying is this: in every situation where mind starts any kind of desire, greed, lust, ambition, possessiveness, the meditator has to be just a mirror. And what is that going to do? To be just a mirror means you are simply aware.
In pure awareness the mind cannot drag you down into the mud, into the gutter. In anger, in hatred, in jealousy, the mind is absolutely impotent in the face of awareness. And because the mind is absolutely impotent, your whole being is in a profound silence -- the peace that passeth understanding.
Naturally that peace, that silence, that joy, that blissfulness will affect the mind. It will create ripples in the mind, it will change the wave lengths in the mind, and the scientist will be reading those waves, those wave patterns and he will be thinking, "If these wave patterns can be created in someone by mechanical devices, then we will be able to create the profoundness of a Gautam Buddha."
Don't be stupid.
All your technical devices can be good, can be helpful. They are not going to do any harm; they will be giving some taste of peace, of silence -- although very superficial, still it is something for those who have never known anything of peace.
For the thirsty, even dirty water does not look dirty.
For the thirsty, even dirty water is a great blessing.
So you can start your experiments with all my blessings, but remember it is not meditation that you are giving to people -- you don't know meditation yourself. You may be giving them a little rest, a little relaxation -- and there is nothing wrong in it.
But if you give them the idea that this is meditation then you are certainly being harmful - - because these people will stop at the technical things, with the superficial silence, thinking that this is all and they have gained it.
You can be helpful to people. Tell them that "This is just a mechanical way of putting your mind at peace, and mind at peace is not the real peace -- real peace is when mind is absent. And that is not possible from the outside, but only from the inside. And inside you have the intelligence, the understanding to do the miracle."
It is good for people who cannot relax, who cannot find a few moments of peace, whose minds are continuously chattering -- your technical devices are good, your biofeedback mechanisms are good. But make it clear to them that this is not meditation, this is just a mechanical device to help you relax, to give you a superficial feeling of silence. If this silence creates an urge in you to find the real, the inner, the authentic source of peace, then those technical devices have been friends, and the technicians who have been using them have not been barriers but have been bridges. Become a bridge.
Give people the little taste that is possible through machines, but don't give them the false idea that this is what meditation is. Tell them that this is only a faraway echo of the real; if you want the real, you will have to go through a deep inner search, a profound understanding of your mind, an awareness of all the cunning ways of the mind so that the mind can be put aside. Then the mind is no longer between you and existence, and the doors are open.
Meditation is the ultimate experience of blissfulness.
It cannot be produced by drugs, it cannot be produced by machines, it cannot be produced from the outside.
The first thing to understand: Gautam Buddha and Mahavira had no communes.
Their disciples were wandering monks; they were not living a commune life in one place, they were always on the move -- except for the rainy season. And even in the rainy season they used to stay in different places.
My commune was an alternative society.
Gautam Buddha and Mahavira did not provide an alternative society; hence they were not in conflict with the society. On the contrary, they were dependent on the society for food, for clothes, for shelter -- their disciples were dependent on the society for everything.
They could not be rebellious. How can you be rebellious against a society which gives you food, which gives you clothes, which gives you shelter, which gives you everything that you need? You cannot go against its morality -- it may be rotten, but you have to support it. You cannot go against its traditions.
My commune was a totally new experiment. It has never happened before. There is no comparison in the past because my people were not dependent on anybody, and they were against the society, the culture, the civilization, the religion, the politics, the education -- everything that constitutes the world.
We were fighting an impossible fight -- a small group trying to live in a totally different way from the whole of humanity.
Mahavira was not against marriage; I am.
Mahavira was not respectful towards women; I am.
Buddha was as much a male chauvinist as anybody else. For twenty years continuously, he refused to initiate any women into Buddhism. He never accepted the idea that they are equal to men. I say they are not only equal but in some respects superior.
My commune was a revolt.
Their religions -- Gautam Buddha's and Mahavira's religions -- were simply offshoots of the same civilization, the same society, the same morality, the same superstitions.
Yes, they were arguing about invisible things which nobody bothers about -- whether God is seven feet high or six feet high is nobody's business. Whether God has three faces or only one face, it is God's problem, it is nobody else's problem. Maybe if he has three faces then God's tailor might have a problem!
They were disagreeing on many points, but all those points were immaterial, not substantial, not concerned with the life that man is living here and now -- about that they were all in absolute agreement.
Hence it was absolutely to be expected that my commune would be destroyed.
It was against the church, it was against the state, it was against all that your so-called civilization stands for -- because I don't believe man has yet become civilized.
If man has become civilized, then there is no need for wars; if man has become civilized, then there is no need for discrimination between blacks and whites, men and women; if man has become civilized then there is no need for people to die because they have nothing to eat -- and there are people who are dying because they have too much to eat.
In America, thirty million people are dying from overeating, and thirty million people are dying because they have nothing to eat.
And you call this world a civilized world? It is not even sane. And it cannot be just coincidence: exactly thirty million people overeating, knowing perfectly well that they are eating themselves to death, knowing perfectly well that thirty million people are on the streets dying without food. Strange... sixty million people can be saved within a second, but these sixty million people will die.
I have heard.... A man was very much worried because his wife was getting fatter and fatter and fatter.
And women have greater capacity for becoming fat than men -- it is a biological privilege, because the woman has to be able to become pregnant, to become a mother; then for nine months she cannot eat well, she throws up, she is carrying such a load in her belly. And every day the child needs more and more food. It is a very strange situation:
the woman cannot eat, and the child wants more food because he is growing. Hence nature has made woman's body capable of collecting more fat for emergency measures.
So even if she does not eat, the child can get as much as he needs from the reserve fat the woman has; and the woman can also go on eating her own fat -- and nine months is a long time. So the woman has immense capacity. If she uses her full capacity, then man is no competitor.
And women are thinner while they are not married. Once they are married they start becoming fat -- because now there is no problem. They have got hold of a man who cannot escape so it does not matter what happens to their body proportions; they are no more interested in any beauty competition.
The man asked his doctor, "What has to be done?"
The doctor said, "You do one thing: take a beautiful picture of a naked woman and paste it inside the fridge, so whenever your wife opens the fridge for more ice cream she will think, `What a beautiful body!' And she may start thinking about herself, that this is not good."
The man said, "That idea is very good."
After two months the doctor met the man, and he could not believe it. He said, "What happened? I have not seen you for two months, and you have become so fat!"
He said, "Everything went wrong because of your suggestion, you idiot! Are you my doctor or my enemy? I pasted a beautiful woman, naked, inside the fridge. Since then my wife does not open the fridge, but I cannot remain more than fifteen minutes away before a desire arises to see the photo. But when one opens the fridge, it is not just the photo one sees -- the ice cream, the cake... You have destroyed my life. So my wife has become slimmer, beautiful, and I have become ugly. And the whole credit goes to you!"
This society, this world is based on insane superstitions.
My commune was a revolt. It survived five years -- it was a miracle, because the whole fascist and imperialist government of America tried everything to destroy it. Legally they could not do it because we had four hundred legal experts in the commune -- the commune had the biggest legal firm in the whole world. Four hundred sannyasins, a few of them very well-known legal experts; others, new graduates from the universities -- four hundred legal experts continuously fighting the American government on every legal point. Finally the government decided that legally it was impossible to destroy us, and then they started doing illegal things.
And when a world power -- the world's greatest power -- starts being criminal and illegal, what can four hundred people do?
We were ready to fight legally, rationally, logically, in every possible way. But illegally it was impossible to fight.
I was arrested illegally, without any arrest warrant -- because they could not find a reason to arrest me, so how to issue an arrest warrant?
In the middle of the night at the point of twelve loaded guns, I was arrested. And I asked them, "Where is the arrest warrant?"
They said, "There is no arrest warrant."
I said, "You can at least tell me verbally what the reason is, why I am being arrested."
They said, "We don't know."
I asked them, "Then give me the opportunity to inform my attorney."
And they refused.
That is every citizen's right everywhere in the world -- to inform his attorney if the government is doing such an illegal act. But they were worried that if the attorney comes, the first thing he is going to ask is, "Where is the arrest warrant?"
They destroyed the commune in such a way that the world would think nothing criminal had been done, but everything criminal....
In court they produced one hundred and thirty-six crimes against me.
I was silent for three and a half years, never going out of my room. And if a man remaining silent -- not meeting anybody, not talking to anybody, not going out of his room -- can manage to commit one hundred and thirty-six crimes, then I thought there must be miracles, I must be doing miracles! And they had no proof of anything.
They asked for negotiations. The government attorney made it clear to my attorneys that the government could not accept defeat. They themselves had foolishly called the case "The United States of America versus Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh," they themselves had called the case that; there was no need to give it such a name. Now they were in trouble:
if I had won the case that would mean the United States of America would have been defeated in their own courts under their own law, by their own constitution.
So they said, "We cannot -- the government cannot accept defeat. And you know and we know that we don't have any proof. So the best way will be not to go to trial. We are ready for negotiations. And the negotiating agreement is that Bhagwan should accept any two charges, should admit that he has committed two crimes -- just to show the world that we have not done anything wrong by arresting him -- and pay a nominal fine. Then on the surface everything looks legal."
But my attorney said, "It will be very difficult to convince him to accept."
They said, "We should make you aware of the fact that if he does not accept -- and if the case goes to trial -- then the trial can be prolonged for ten years, twenty years. It is a case against the government, and you should be aware that government is not ready to lose the case. So we will go on postponing it, and bail will be cancelled and Bhagwan will have to remain in jail. His whole movement will be destroyed, and all his sannyasins all over the world will be in immense torture."
And he suggested -- whispered into my chief attorney's ear: "You should be aware that he can be killed too. If we see that the case is going to be lost, he can be killed too."
My attorneys came to me crying -- and they were the topmost attorneys of America. I asked them, "Why you are crying? What is the matter? -- because there is nothing in those hundred thirty-six charges. We are going to win."
They said, "We are going to win, but your life is at risk and we don't want your life to be at risk."
And they were right.
Because they had already planted a bomb under my seat, so if something went wrong then they could finish me on that very day. It was just a coincidence that I reached the jail earlier than they expected -- and the bomb was a time bomb, so it did not explode.
After I left America, the attorney general told the press, "Our first priority was to destroy the commune."
Why? -- because the commune had done no harm to America in any way. But deep down it has hurt America's ego, its pride -- because we have shown them that a dream can be realized, that five thousand people can live without any law enforcement authority, without any court, without any fight, without any drugs, without any murder, without any suicide, nobody going mad. And people were living so joyously and so beautifully that the whole of America was starting to feel jealous.
The very existence of the commune was dangerous to the American politicians because it showed that they don't have any intelligence; otherwise they could have done what we had done very easily -- they had all the power, all the money.
This small commune of five thousand people had everything that man needs, and all the freedom, all the love. And everybody was working seven days a week, twelve to fourteen hours a day, and still were not tired -- because it was not something forced, it was something they wanted to do, they wanted to create. It was such a creative act that after working fourteen hours they were still dancing in the streets; late in the night they were playing on their guitars, singing, dancing.
The commune was destined to be destroyed. It was too good not to be destroyed. It was the alternative society.
Mahavira and Buddha did not create any alternative society. They were part of this society, they remained dependent on this society.
Their revolution was intellectual, verbal.
My revolt was actual and existential.
And the destruction of the commune in America does not mean that the idea of the commune will disappear. There are still communes around the world flourishing in many countries. More and more communes will be coming up.
America is going to repent; it has missed an opportunity. It could have supported the commune and made it clear to the world that it stands for freedom, that it stands for a new man, that it stands for a future humanity.
It missed a great opportunity.
By destroying the commune, it has destroyed its own credibility, its own democracy. It has proved itself simply nothing but a hypocritical society.
Love can never be satisfied.
If it is satisfied, it is not much of a love. The greater and deeper it is, the more dissatisfaction there will be. That is not against love; it simply shows the vastness, that your heart wants to love in a way which is infinite, that it will never be satisfied.
And it is good that it is not satisfied. The moment it is satisfied, it is dead.
The love between the master and the disciple can never be satisfied. It will always remain a thrill, a new excitement, a new ecstasy. It will always go on opening doors upon doors - - disciplehood will become devotion; one day devotion will become a merger, just as the river merges in the ocean. But that too is not going to satisfy.
Satisfaction is not a great quality. It belongs to the little minds, to the little hearts which are satisfied with small things.
There are people who are satisfied with a little money, there are people who are satisfied with a house, there are people who are satisfied with a little name, a little fame -- these are pygmies.
Giants are never satisfied. On every new step they find the journey is becoming deeper, more miraculous, more mysterious -- and the longing is growing and the heart is full of a sweet ache.
To be in a love affair with a master is to be in a love affair with existence itself; the master is only an arrow pointing towards the unknowable, the miraculous, the mysterious.
The master is not the end, the master is only the beginning.
The whole function of the master is to push you the same way a mother bird pushes a small bird, a new bird who has never opened his wings into the sky. Naturally he is afraid -- a vast sky. He has lived in a small cozy nest, safe and secure, the mother has been taking care -- and now she wants him to take a jump and fly. And one day she pushes him. And the moment he is pushed out of the nest -- for a moment it feels as if he is going to fall down on the earth, but before he falls on the earth his wings open and the whole sky is his.
And there are skies beyond skies.
The function of the master is nothing but to push you into a more divine discontentment, into a discontentment that knows no satisfaction.
It is true, I am something!
I know you are not beyond pettiness, beyond jealousy, beyond greed, beyond anger. But I don't talk about going beyond them for the simple reason that if you start struggling with your pettiness, you will remain petty; if you start struggling against your jealousy, you will remain jealous.
An ancient proverb is: "Always choose the enemy very carefully."
A friend can be chosen without much care, but an enemy has to be chosen very carefully because you will be fighting with him -- and in fighting you will become just like the enemy because you will have to use the same methods, the same means.
Enemies are very precious.
I don't want you to fight with small things. Rather than looking down at the earth, and all around is your pettiness and jealousy and anger, my effort is to show you the stars and help you to know that you have wings. And once you start moving towards the stars, those small things will disappear on their own accord.
It is better to look at a star and to strive to get to it because the journey is beautiful, the heart is throbbing with excitement.
Rather than fighting with small things...
You will remain small, fighting with small things.
All your religions teach you to fight with small things, and that's why the whole of humanity has remained small -- fight with small things.
I insist: Don't fight with small things.
Fight for something great, and as you move towards the great the small ones will disappear.
I am crazy, but you are crazier!
And that is the only bond between us -- I am crazy, you are crazier. That is the only commitment. We will reach to the stars -- we will not bother about small things. Leave them here for other people, they will fight with them.
Prasad, only one thing is needed not to miss me, and that is: You have to remember constantly that in every mind, in every person who comes in search of truth, the ego plays a very cunning game.
I will tell you one story.
It is said that one of the great Zen masters Bokoju used to ask every newcomer: "Have you realized that the path of disciplehood is very difficult? Before you enter on the path, it is my duty to make you alert to all the difficulties, arduousness, hostilities; it is an uphill task. Are you ready, or you have come here just out of curiosity?"
The man said, "No, I have come here to find the truth, but if it is too difficult to be a disciple then what about making me a master?"
It is a very strange story.
But that is the only thing that can prevent you coming closer to me -- the desire in the ego somewhere to become a master. You have to become something bigger, something greater.
The master is just a finger pointing to the moon. Don't be bothered to become a master; while you can become the moon, why become the finger?
You are asking what can keep you missing me.
Only one thing: the desire to be a master.
It is one of the mysteries of life that only those who don't have any desire to be a master become masters, and those who have the desire even fall from the status of being a disciple -- because the desire to be a master is nothing but a subtle ego.
So just watch your mind.
From disciple become a devotee; from devotee take a quantum leap, a merger with existence.
Never think for a moment of becoming a master. Leave it to existence: if existence wants you to become a master -- that means if existence wants to use you as a master, you will be used. If existence thinks you have done enough and wants you to relax, disperse into eternity -- leave it to existence. You should not be desirous of anything.
The moment you come to the state of desirelessness, then existence uses you in whatever way is needed: as a mystic, as a master, as a singer, as a dancer, as a flute player -- or just as nobody; but everything is a benediction.
That which comes to you from existence without your desiring it is always the greatest ecstasy there is.