Darshan 3 April 1976

[A couple returning to the West. The man had recently had hepatitis and was feeling apprehensive about trying to cope with the weakness it had left him with.]

For a few weeks, just go and rest... don't do anything, mm? Sometimes weakness of the body can be used in very very creative ways.

[Osho went on to say that usually people abuse and waste their health and times of high energy, because they don't know how to use it... ]

... they become accidental, and they start drifting. That's why young people become drifters. That's why whenever a society is very healthy, rich, rooted, affluent, the young generation starts drifting. It has been happening in the past... it is happening today. It has always been so. If the society is poor, not healthy, not rich, and bread and butter is a great struggle, then the youth never drifts. Hippies never happen in a poor country. They cannot happen because a poor country cannot afford them.

The same that happens to a society, happens to an individual. When you are healthy you start indulging - you lose all direction. The very health gives you a sort of dizziness. The very vitality which could have been very very creative, may have given you a new birth, a new being, becomes a wastage.

So this is my observation: that whenever people are ill, confined to bed, and they don't have any energy to do any nonsense, any nuisance, and they cannot indulge, these moments can be used.

These moments can become very meditative. So I will suggest to you to use this opportunity... and everything is an opportunity.

Even a misfortune is an opportunity. It depends always on you how you use it. A great blessing can become a curse, and a curse can be transformed into a great blessing. A blessing as such is not a blessing; a curse as such is not a curse. It depends on how you make use of it.

So go back home and move to some resort and for six, eight weeks, simply rest. And when I say simply rest, I mean just rest. Don't do anything; not even reading, writing, talking. Just rest in bed and curl up like a small child... as if you are again in the womb... you have become very very small, and the warmth of the womb surrounds you.

(to his woman) And you be his mother for these eight weeks. Forget all about being a beloved, a girlfriend... just he a mother. Because whenever somebody is ill, he is not in need of a lover; he is in need of a mother. A totally different quality of love he needs. A love that doesn't demand... a love that simply gives... a love that is unconditional. A love which is not a passion but a compassion. A love which is simply a warmth around him. So become a womb around him for this time. Don't make any demands - even for him to talk. And that will be a great experience for you also. Just take care of him.

Love is caring. Much is being missed in the West particularly, because love has become almost just passion, excitement, thrill, a kick. That too is part of love, but not the heart of it. A very superficial part of it. Good... sometimes one needs excitement also, but it is just like salt in the food - not the food itself.

Care is a real ingredient... the very element of love. So just take care of him and let him relapse back. That will be a great meditation for him... he will come out of it totally new.

(to the man) So this bodily illness can be used. And hepatitis in a way cleanses the stomach. After it you are almost in a condition of someone who has had a long fast. So don't take it as an illness, rather take it as a long fast. That's what a long fast does - it cleanses the whole intestinal system.

One feels weak, but one feels clean also; one feels purified, delicate, vulnerable. But if you look deep down, you will feel a certain clarity, calmness.

(to the woman) These few weeks will be a meditation for you also, because to love somebody without demanding is a great lesson, a great experience. Once you learn you never forget. Then you never demand, because so much love comes without asking. And the moment you ask, it becomes ugly.

When it comes without asking, it simply transpires; nobody is doing. It simply happens between two persons who are non-demanding, non-possessive... who are simply together, caring about each other.

That very mood of care allows love to descend like a dove.

So for these weeks, simply be a mother. For a woman there is no greater meditation than to be a mother. Hence I call my sannyasins 'ma'; that means 'mother'. There is no greater meditation than that. A woman finds fulfillment in being a mother.

And when I say that, I don't mean that simply by giving birth to a child you can become a mother - no.

That is very very physical. It is not necessary that you become a mother; you may not. Producing a child is biological. Becoming a mother is spiritual... it is a different dimension.

So there are so many women who give birth to children, but rarely you find a mother. If you become a mother, then there is no need to become a saint. You are already a saint.

I am coming with you and I will be watching continuously, mm ?

[A sannyasin asks: I want to be assured whether my girlfriend's and my energies are good for each other, or whether it's just more karmic projections to work out.]

Mm mm... you ask a wrong question. There's no assurance possible. One has to learn by trial and error. One never knows, because you are constantly changing. You are not an unchanging entity, so I cannot say that this woman will fit with you. This moment you may fit; next moment you may change. The moment changes, so the next moment you may not fit. Then you will throw the responsibility on me. And if you separate, you will feel guilty that you didn't listen to me.

So never ask about the future. Let the future remain always in the mist. It should not be made clear.

It should always remain insecure. If it becomes secure, it is no more the future... it is already past, and you will not enjoy living it.

The whole excitement of life is that it is insecure, that there is no assurance, that nobody knows what is going to happen the next moment. Nobody can know - that's the beauty of life. The unknown goes on penetrating constantly. Whatsoever arrangements you make, the unknown comes and throws you flat on the ground. If you are assured of the future, completely, totally, then what will be the point of living? Then you will be repeating something which you already know. Never ask for assurance.

My whole effort is to take all securities from you... to make you insecure and to send you into an unknown world where each moment is going to be strange... each moment is going to be a mystery...

and each moment is going to be a challenge. You are never going to be secure, and that's how life is; that's the way to live it. Only dead persons are assured and secure.

So people who ask too much assurance become by and by dead... they have to become... they have to deaden all their sensitivities. If you want to be secure with a woman that means you should not change any more. You should remain always as you are - which is impossible. It is not within your capacity not to change. You are changing all the time.

You can have a mask which will always remain the same. You will go on changing behind it, and a mask, a dead mask, will remain the same. That's what husbands are doing, wives are doing. A dead mask, a face to show, a pretension, a hypocrisy. And inside the mask, everything is changing.

And you carry the mask because you ask for assurance.

That is one of the most wrong questions to ask, mm? because that shows a very wrong attitude towards life....

Why bring these words in - karmic patterns, karma, past? There is no need. That's again an effort of the mind to explain things which are not explainable, which don't come within any explanation.

For example, karmic.... You don't know what you are talking about - what karmas? But in life you may find many things that you cannot explain. For example, you see a woman for the first time and you feel suddenly in love. Now the problem arises: where does this love come from? The mind raises a question because it is constantly trying to convert the unknown into the known; the unexplainable has to be reduced to some explanation. The mystery has to be dissolved and analysed, dissected.

Maybe in dissection you kill it, but still the mind feels satisfied. Now you know that this is a karma

relationship - in the past you have been together, and now you have to fulfill the remaining karma.

The mind is at ease. What have you done?

You have simply reduced something unknown. Falling in love is a mysterious phenomenon. It has nothing to do with karma... it has nothing to do with the past. It is happening right now, herenow!

Why bring the past to explain it? What has the past to do with it?

Life is bumping into you, new every moment. But because of the tendency and the constant hankering of the mind to explain everything, you bring explanations which are all hocus-pocus abracadabra... magic formulas which explain nothing really, but give you a sense of assurance.

Perfectly okay. So this [your woman is in your life because of karma. You are in her life because of karma, and you have to complete it, so carry on. Why destroy such beautiful life by such nonsense terms?

Can't you remain with the unknown? Can't you say 'I don't know but love is there'? Can't you say 'I am ignorant and I have no explanation, but love is there, and I don't know why it is there. I don't know how it happens, what is the mechanism, and I don't bother!' What is the point of an explanation?

Through explanation you will kill the whole beauty of love.

Just think - falling in love and bringing in the theory of karma; you are destroying a beautiful thing.

The word karma is ugly. Love is being destroyed by the concept of karma, or by the concept of destiny, kismet... God is forcing two persons to be together. Christians say that all marriages are arranged in heaven. What nonsense! Why bring in heaven?

The whole thing to be understood is: the mind hankers for explanations. The mind is very childish - any explanation will do. But if you start living with the unexplained, a revolution happens. Then the mind by and by starts interfering; it keeps coming in again and again.

Open the doors for the mysterious more and more. Just stop asking why, how, from where, to what; drop all these questions. Just live with the fact! And let the fact be there. While it is there, be with it.

When it disappears, let it disappear.

This is what innocence is. Don't live by knowledge, live by innocence. This is what Jesus means when he says be like a child. He has no explanation - he simply lives. Out of innocence you become more and more receptive to the unknown. As much as you drop the mind, in the same proportion you become available to the unknown. The more you cling to the mind and bring in foolish theories, just stupid.... And when I say a certain theory is stupid, I don't mean a certain theory is; all theories are stupid. The theoretician's mind is stupid.

If you love [your woman, love. There is no need to know why. If love is there it will function on its own. If it is not there, there is no need. My whole insistence is to live life without the mind, without conclusions.

Millions of people are crippled because of their explanations. I want you to be completely free from explanations. That is the only way to be. And only then one is authentic, because there is no other thing to do - whatsoever happens, happens. You never do something against yourself because there is no need. If you love a woman, you love; if you don't love, you don't. If love comes, you welcome it. If it is gone you are helpless; what can you do?

So just remain with the fact. That is the way of being true, authentic, existential. And all theories are childish. Foolish people need them, so cunning people supply them. Foolish people cannot live without theories, so cunning people don't miss the opportunity to exploit them. But I don't give you any theories.

My whole effort is destructive in a way. I want you to live completely unstructured so you have simply freedom to live.

And don't go into the past. Don't go to the future. Listen to the present, and move with the present.

This is the courageous way. Cowards either move to the past or to the future, because they are not courageous enough to live with the fact. They go on zig-zaggedly... their path is not straight - dodging. Whom are you dodging?

You are simply wasting your whole life. [Your woman] is beautiful. If you love her, she is beautiful.

Of course there is bound to be pain also, so never think because that too is a very foolish idea implanted in the minds of the whole of humanity - that when you love a person there are all flowers and flowers and flowers, and no thorns. That's absolutely nonsense. Roses bring their thorns with them.

So never think that love is just icecream. It has its pain... it has to have. In spite of the pain, you go. You love a person; you know there is bound to be some conflict. Two persons are two different worlds. When two worlds come close, many conflicts, clashes, are bound to be there... natural.

Don't expect otherwise. But if you love the person, you love these conflicts also. And by and by conflicts cease because you become understanding, more and more understanding.

In fact these conflicts are nothing but two different worlds trying to understand each other. So many misunderstandings happen on the way. But when you have understood, those misunderstandings drop by and by. And love comes to a deep intimacy, a silence... a great calmness.

So this is just the beginning. Drama is there... conflict is there. When the other enters, drama has started. Alone there is no drama. That's why alone one feels lonely - because there is no drama, no excitement, no charge, no thrill. The other brings the thrill, the excitement, the misery and the happiness, the pain and the pleasure, both heaven and hell. Drama starts.

You cannot make a story out of pleasure only... it will be boring. The pain is needed - it gives flavour, the contrast. You cannot make a painting with one colour. There will be no painting... it will be just a canvas. At least two colours are needed; some contrast is needed. The more colours there are, the more beautiful painting will evolve out of it. When colourful persons meet, there is much drama.

[your woman] is colourful - and much drama is possible (a chuckle). So don't be afraid... enjoy it.

While it lasts, enjoy it, because nobody knows - tomorrow you may not be there.

So enjoy this moment as if it is going to be the last. And remain true to the present. And there is no other commitment: only commitment to the present. There is no other responsibility... only one: to be true, authentic for that which is right now. Don't be bothered about the past and the future.

[A sannyasin says: I feel like I'd like a companion, a man... I was with a man last night and I didn't know whether to have sex or not... because I just wanted to be close... ]

That is always a problem with man and woman. Women always like more to just be close - and just to be close is not enough for a man. So if you want to be close, you should always remember that man has a different mind. Women are passive, so just being close gives them enough Man is active... his whole sex energy is active. Unless he becomes actively engaged, he feels frustrated.

He feels that you bring him up to the door and then you refuse. You invite him and then you refuse.

He feels rejected.

So always remember when you love a man, love his masculinity. Otherwise this is cheating. You want just closeness, and no man is interested in just closeness. Then one should become a lesbian:

two women just interested in closeness - finished! There is nothing wrong in it, but if you are interested in men, then remember masculinity.

And whenever energy starts flowing, you will also feel sexual. Ordinarily the whole of humanity has been repressed so much... just to repress sexuality, all sensitivity has been repressed, because everything goes together. You are a unity. If you run, you cannot leave your left hand there and take your right hand with you. If you run, you cannot leave your head here, and take your legs away.

There is a Mulla Nasrudin anecdote. He went to a rich man's house for some donations for his mosque, but the gatekeeper said he was out and he would not be returning for a while, so please not to bother to come again.

The rich man was looking from the window to see who had come. He had told the gatekeeper that no beggar was to be allowed.

Mulla looked at the window and said to the gatekeeper, 'I give you some free advice: when your master comes back, tell him never to leave his head on the window when he goes out. It is dangerous... somebody may steal it!'

One goes totally. This is how energies function. If you repress sex, you have to repress all sensitivities. If you repress sex, you have repressed your eyes... you will not be able to see so clearly. No, it is not possible. This is my 'observation, that whenever people's sex energy is released, they don't need glasses. I have seen many people meditating, and suddenly their glasses disappear.

They come to me and they ask what has happened. In fact there was nothing wrong with their eyes.

When you repress sex, you have to repress your eyes also, unknowingly, because the eyes are the first portals of sex. You see a beautiful woman - you have to repress the eyes first. If you don't repress the eyes, then excitement will enter the body and you will start dreaming and fantasising, and sex will arise. To repress sex, you have to repress the eyes. To repress sex, you have to repress the ears, because if you listen very clearly, you will see that a woman's voice has a tremendous attraction. Everything is sexual, because man and woman are sexual beings.

When you repress sex and you touch somebody, you don't touch at all. Just a dead body touches...

inside you withdraw yourself. The hand takes somebody else's hand, but you withdraw your energy.

You are not there present in the hand... the hand is almost dead.

So when one starts meditating and energies start functioning, they will again start working together in a unison, a harmony... an orchestra of energies. Everything will come to its peak, and suddenly

you will see that a great sexual desire is arising. Don't be surprised. This is a good indication that you are becoming alive again.

Sex is life. It is life energy, elan vital, libido - whatsoever you call it. Once you give it total freedom, spontaneity, by and by you will see that without repressing it, it starts being transformed into a subtle understanding. But that is not repression. Your whole sensitivity remains the same, on the peak. You retain your clarity of eyes, clarity of thinking, clarity of every door of your being; everything remains clear and open. By and by sex starts being transformed into a higher plane. You become more creative. You start creating something - a painting, a poetry, a music playing on the instrument or something.

This is not repression... this is expression.

Then sex disappears - that's what brahmacharya is. The real celibacy... you become virgin again.

Just see. A child is born. The child is virgin, absolutely innocent. All the energy is there - you cannot have clearer eyes than a child. Now psychoanalysts say that up to the age of four, children see things that nobody else sees, detects even; they are very perceptive. They will hear things that nobody else will hear. Everything is clear, is bound to be clear. Everything is fresh and young. But there is no sexuality yet. Everything is moving in harmony.

Then sex enters at the age of fourteen. Now their body is completely ready to give birth to some other bodies. Then nature starts using their energy. Their whole attention becomes sexual. If life doesn't go naturally, if a child does not become sexual at the age of fourteen, then something has gone wrong; the child is abnormal.

Exactly the same happens near the age of forty-two. As sex arises at the age of fourteen, religion arises at the age of forty-two. If everything goes naturally, then at the age of forty-two, sex will again disappear. But nothing goes naturally, mm? So seventy years, eighty years, and sex.... Because everything is repressed. Exactly at fourteen years, sex starts, at twenty eight it reaches its peak, and at forty-two sex recedes; the circle is complete. Suddenly sex disappears. So this may be the last flame of it. Don't be worried.

Otherwise it can linger on - that's why I say to be active, so you are finished with it and it doesn't linger. Because this is the problem: if the body becomes old and sex lingers on in the mind, then it is very difficult to change it, because now no bodily expression is possible. Then sex becomes a ghostly phenomenon... then it hovers around the head, and you cannot do anything about it. That's what happens to old men... that's why they are called dirty old people (laughter). They cannot do anything but their mind goes on thinking, fantasising - and they fantasise more because now that is the only activity left.

So before that happens, I would like everybody to be finished with it. What is your age right now?

[She answers: Forty-six. I thought I was over it!]

Mm... just be active, and be finished. It is going to go, so before it goes have a last taste of it!

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