Darshan 15 March 1976

[A japanese man expressed some apprehension prior to taking sannyas, as he was already involved with a movement in Japan, called Tenrikyo, which he said started just one hundred and fifty years ago in Japan, and was something akin to Buddhism, yet not Buddhism.]

No need to leave it right now. Just go on making all efforts to search deep. If you can find something higher, then leave it; then it is left automatically. Whether you leave it or not is not the question. You grow out of it rather than leaving it. You follow me?

And I am giving you something which can grow anywhere - in whatsoever religion you are, in whatsoever church you belong. I am against nobody. You can remain in your church and still grow.

[The visitor takes sannyas.]

This will be your name: Swami Anand Mansoor.

Anand means blissful, happy, and Mansoor is the name of sufi mystic. Have you heard the name - Mansoor Al Hillaj?

Read something about him... you can find many books in English. You have been connected with him in your past life that's why I give you the name.

He was crucified - just like Jesus. Mohammedans killed him because he uttered something which Mohammedans think is dangerous. He said 'I am God' - and that created trouble for him, mm?

The whole name is Mansoor Al Hillaj; yours will be simply Mansoor.

Have you something to say?

[Mansoor asked: Yes.... How to love my mother?

The translator went on to say that Mansoor loved his mother and felt that she was the one he was looking for as a lover or wife - but that he felt this was not good.]

A mother has to be loved in a totally different way. She is not your beloved - and cannot be. If you become too much attached to your mother, you will not be able to find a beloved. And then deep down you will be angry with your mother - because it is because of her that you couldn't move to another woman.

So it is part of growth that one has to move away from the parents. It is just as your being in the womb and then having to come out of it. That was leaving your mother, in a way. . . in a way, betraying her. But if inside the womb the child thinks that this will be a betrayal - 'How can I leave my mother who has given birth to me?' - then he will kill himself and the mother also. He has to come out of the womb.

First he is joined with the mother completely. . .then the cord has to be cut. He starts breathing on his own; that is the beginning of growth. He becomes an individual; he starts functioning separately.

But for many years he will still remain dependent. For milk, food, shelter, love, he will depend on the mother; he is helpless.

But as he becomes stronger, he will start moving further and further away. Then milk will stop, and then he will have to depend on some other food. Now he is going even further away.

Then one day he has to go to school, has to make friends. And when he becomes a young man, he falls in love with a woman and completely forgets the mother in a way, because this new woman overwhelms him, overpowers him.

If it doesn't happen, then something has gone wrong. If the mother tries to cling to you she is not fulfilling her duty as a mother. It is a very delicate duty. A mother has to help you go away - that's the delicacy of it. A mother has to make you strong so that you can go away from her. That's her love. Then she is fulfilling her duty. If you cling to the mother, then too you are doing wrong. Then it is going against nature.

It is as if a river starts flowing upstream... then everything will be topsy-turvy.

The mother is your source. If you start floating towards the mother, you are going upstream. You have to move away. The river has to go away from the source to the ocean. But that doesn't mean that you are not in love with your mother.

So remember that love for the mother has to be more like respect, less like love. Love towards yoUr mother has to be more of the quality of gratefulness, respect - deep respect. She has given you birth, she has brought you into the world. Your love has to be very very prayerful towards her.

So do whatsoever you can do to serve her. But don't make your love like the love for a beloved, otherwise you are confusing your mother with the beloved. And when goals are confused, you will become confused. So remember well that your destiny is to find a lover - another woman, not your

mother. Then only for the first time you will become perfectly mature. Because finding another woman means that now you are completely cut away from the mother... the final cord has been cut now.

That's why there is a subtle antagonism between the mother and the wife of her son; a very subtle antagonism - all over the world. It has to be so, because the mother feels somehow that this woman has taken her son away from her. And that's natural in a way. Natural, but ignorant. The mother should be happy that some other woman has been found. Now her child is no more a child... he has become a mature, grown-up person. She should be happy, mm?

So you can be mature only in one way - if you go away from the mother. And this is so on many levels of being. A son has someday to revolt against the father - not without respect... with deep respect. But one has to revolt. This is the delicacy: revolution is there, rebellion is there, but with deep respect. If there is no respect then that is ugly. Then the rebellion is not beautiful. Then you are missing something. Rebel... be free... but be respectful, because the father, the mother, is the source.

So one has to go away from the parents. Not only away, but sometimes in many ways, against them.

But that should not become anger. It should not be ugly. It should remain beautiful, respectful. If you go away, go, but touch the feet of your mother and father. Tell them that you have to go away... cry.

But tell them that you are helpless - you have to go. The challenge has called you, and you have to go. One cries on leaving the home. One goes on looking back again and again, with wistful eyes, nostalgia. The days that have passed were beautiful. But what to do?

If you cling to the home you will remain crippled. You will remain juvenile. You will never become a man in your own right. So what I say to you is to go away with respect. Whenever they need, serve them, be available. But never misunderstand that your mother is your beloved; she is your mother.

Nibbana is Buddha's word for nirvana. It means enlightenment.

Buddha never used Sanskrit. He used a local language that was used in his part of the country. All the words become soft in it - nirvana is called nibbana. And prem means love.

Dhamma means the ultimate law, and prem means love - love, the ultimate law. Dhamma is also Buddha's word like nibbana. The sanskrit word is dharma. This form, Buddha's, is more soft and loving.

[A sannyasin says: Everything is in trouble, Osho.

I'm going back and forth in wanting to be here and in wanting to leave. In the meditations especially the ones into which I have to put effort, there is a constant struggle in the mind. The mind's always going on and on. It's like: Go on... I want to stop... Go on ! ... ]

I think a few groups will be tremendously helpful.

Nothing to worry about... it comes to everybody. This moment comes to everybody. In fact when something is going to happen, the mind will create all sorts of trouble. If nothing is going to happen,

the mind will not create any trouble. So it is an indication that the mind is becoming alert that something is going to happen, and you are never going to be the same again. So the mind feels apprehensive.

But each mind functions in the same way... it has a very mechanical way of functioning. Whenever it becomes a little alert that something is going to happen - that you are on the brink and if you go a little closer towards the precipice you will never be able to come back, and that the same mind will not be able to control you - it becomes afraid, naturally. It is going to be its death.

The mind's death is your life, and the mind's life is your death. So the mind protects itself. It has its own vested interests; it has many investments. Of course, up to now it has been living in the world and it has done much business, so it is an established thing. Now you are trying to rebel against it.

All meditations are a rebellion against the mind.

As no established order will allow rebellion easily, neither will the mind. It is just as if in a society there is some trouble and somebody tries to go against the rules and the game. The police and the judge, and the law and the courts, and imprisonment, are all there to prevent it. The status quo becomes afraid... this cannot be allowed.

The mind is the establishment, the status quo. And once you start thinking in terms of meditation, you are becoming rebellious. So the mind will create all sorts of trouble - it is natural .

Just do a few things. One: do a few groups - which I think will be immediately helpful. You are giving in, and if you miss this opportunity, the mind will overpower you and you will be again back in the prison. You have tried to come out of it just a little... you are just on the threshold.

And you have to continue the meditations that you feel are difficult. The mind has not to be allowed anything. For a few days become an ascetic. Be a warrior, a fighter. Then I will tell you to relax. Once the mind knows that you are not going to listen to it, it flops. It just has to come to the understanding that this man is not going to listen, so what is the point?

[A sannyasin says: I feel that so much is coming in in the meditations... my whole life is coming through me.

... I feel it's getting tighter and tighter (holding onto her belly), but I can't let go, because there's nothing to let go of.]

I understand. There is not much to come out, but there is something very basic there which has to come out . it is not much. Once it comes out you will feel totally relaxed. Then let-go will become possible.

So when there are many things it seems easier for a person to bring them out - because there are so many things, so much rubbish. And howsoever much you bring out, you still have so much that you are not worried.

But you have only one thing... so you will cling to it. You will be miserly about bringing it out. So this is a problem for people who have not many things.

For example, a person has millions of rupees. He can go on throwing a few rupees here and there - he has nothing much to worry about. But if there is only one - once gone, it is gone.

So in the beginning it is going to be a very very tough struggle. But in a way it is good, because once dropped, it is dropped. And it will be difficult for you to formulate what it is, because the very formulation is the beginning of throwing it away.

So the mind goes on hiding it. It doesn't even allow you to have a look at what you have got. Because if you have a look, the very awareness that you are keeping it, hiding it, holding it, starts the opposite process - of throw it away. Nobody can hold anything consciously; unconsciousness is needed.

And it is not that the tightness is coming in the stomach because you are taking so many things in - no. The tightness is because you are holding something there. It never comes by taking things in....

I will do something... don't be worried. Continue meditating, and I would like you to do a few groups also....

[Osho passed her a small wooden box, which is charged with his energy telling her to put it on her head a allow her body to move as it wanted.... ]

Bring all tightness to the top of your head - as if the whole tightness from the stomach is being transferred. Force the tightness up to your head as if there is a magnetism and it is sticking to your head. And then allow your body energy any movement.

Cooperate with it, mm? If the hand starts shaking, not only allow it to shake, help it to shake... a deep cooperation with it. Then I can feel what is going on.

If something happens in the body, allow it - whatsoever it is. At least in front of me don't hide, don't hold anything.

Nothing is a problem... it will go, mm? Keep this with you, and every night you have to do this.

Just remember me... that I am sitting in front of you. You were able to leave your grip a little. So just put this on your head for three minutes and allow whatsoever happens. Then put it under the pillow and go to sleep so I can work on you the whole night. Good!

[Another sannyasin says: I find when I'm meditating that I have a lot of energy coming in here (indicating the third eye) but not going anywhere.... ]

Do one thing. Find some sandalwood - you will be able to find it in the market - and rub it on stone with some water. Put a tikka just here (Osho touches his third eye); just a spot of sandalwood paste.

Do it for at least two weeks, and then tell me. There is no problem.

Whenever energy comes there, in the beginning it is such a change that the eyes feel it and the whole space changes, so something which goes deep inside and is cooling is helpful. Sandalwood is perfect. In hindi temples they always use it.

It is good that the energy is coming there... it is the third eye centre. Only after energy comes to that point does growth really start. So just do it... and there is nothing to worry about. Everything is going well.

[The therapist who co-led the Primal group which was present tonight, said that he felt he was absorbing too much energy from other people, and was there anything one could do to prevent this?]

Just do one thing. During the day, in the group, look at least ten or fifteen times to see whether your stomach is relaxed or tense. If it is tense, relax it - just the stomach.

If it is tense you collect any energy that is around, and it is dangerous, because these groups release so much negative energy. They are meant to do that, and people who are releasing it will not be affected, but leaders will be if they are not relaxed. So if you see that the stomach is tense, relax the belly and breathe by it. Make it a habit by and by that you don't breathe by the chest but by the belly.

There are very many false notions about breathing, and almost all over the world, people have started breathing by the chest. Breathing by the belly relaxes your whole being - your psyche and soma, both - and society does not allow a relaxed being. He will be spontaneous, and he will move moment to moment. You cannot enforce rules on him. He cannot be regulated, regimented, manipulated. He will be like a child - and you cannot regiment a child. The moment you succeed in regimenting a child, he is dead.

Near the age of four, all children are massacred. Then they just live for the namesake. Just a dead thing continues, but the real has left. The day they leave spontaneity, they have died. The average limit of human beings is four years old, and after that we pull on, drag on But life disappears so of course no blooming ever happens, no fulfillment, no benediction .

So do it in the group, and also when you are not taking a group. Only when it has become a natural thing can it help you in the group. And by and by it comes naturally, easily. Then there is no need to remember it - you simply breathe by the stomach.

Then you will never absorb any negative energy. Just the opposite starts happening - you start absorbing positive energy.

A tense being is hankering for some negativity, is trying to find some excuse to go sour and bitter.

When you are relaxed, you become sensitive to a different level of energy the positive. It is as if a negative energy person comes near a rosebush. He will count the thorns; he will not look at the flowers. The flowers are also there, but he will somehow miss them; he will overlook them.

When a man with positive energy, relaxed, comes near a rosebush, the same rosebush, he doesn't start counting the thorns. They are there, but somehow they don't matter. He looks at the roses - and the roses become so overpowering, so overwhelming, that who bothers about the thorns? If you count the thorns, you will become depleted, angry, dissipated. You will be in a very bad mood...

you will become a thorn, because whatsoever you absorb, you become.

That is the meaning of the old adage: Whatsoever you eat, you become. It doesn't mean simply the food. Whatsoever you eat - and that includes all the vibrations that you take in - you become. If

you go on absorbing negativities, you become a wound, and anybody who comes near you will be offended by your being; will be hurt by you in certain ways. You cannot help it; you are a wound.

Your pus is overflowing to other people in your relationship. The wound is going to stink.

So it becomes a vicious circle: when you have a wound, you absorb more negativity. Then the wound becomes bigger and bigger and bigger.

So start relaxing the stomach and breathing by the belly. Make a practice of it. Lying down on the bed before you go to sleep, for three or four minutes breathe by the belly. In the morning when you awake, breathe by the belly. Just do it whenever you remember. Have more feeling for the belly.

In Japan they say: Think by the belly. Even thinking can be done by the belly - then a man becomes perfectly relaxed. For centuries in Japan they had been thinking that the real thinking process was in the belly, not in the head - and they are right. There is a different quality of thinking which goes on in the belly... it is intuitive; what you call a hunch.

Women think more from the belly than men. Man goes on groping in the dark with logic. Women simply jump to conclusions without any process in between. That's the problem - man cannot understand how women come to their conclusions. And almost always they are right - illogical, but right. They live on hunches. And of course they have a more empty belly than man. They have a womb inside, and they have more space inside.

So try breathing by the belly, and then tell me, mm?

[The other primal leader says it was: Difficult at first, but eventually I just allowed myself to show my fears and expose my motives and let go of the veneer that I carry of being the professional therapist.

I still feel it's there inside me but, for the first time, in this group I was able to let go of that for periods.]

That has been a good experience.

One day or other, one has to forget all that includes what you call the professional attitude. The technical part of it is needed, but one should not be controlled by it. Use it, but never be just the professional, otherwise you become inhuman. And then difficulties arise.

Difficulties arise because you lose contact. You are an expert - you know the technique, you know the know-how - and others are just human beings. A distance arises.

It is good to express your fears - you become more human. It is good to say that you are also a human being; that you are not perfect, but a human being.

Of course you are leading the group, but you are as much a participant as the others. You are as prone to commit errors as others. You have your own problems - it is not that your problems are solved, and you can play around with the attitude of 'holier than you'. Otherwise a distance arises, and that distance will make you tense. It is not going to help you, and it is not going to help others.

These groups are not part of what is called expertise. No knowing is needed. But remain human, relaxed, and be always ready to accept that you have made a mistake. That will make a bridge

between you and the participants. They will have much more feeling for you. And once they see that you are also human just like them, they will feel more relaxed with you.

And that is my whole purpose here. In these groups, by and by I would like that the difference between the leader and the led disappears. In fact the totality becomes the leader. The group mind becomes the leader... the collective consciousness becomes the leader. And the leader is, at the most, just to give directions so that time is not wasted. Otherwise, even without a leader it can come to a conclusion. It will take a little longer, that's all. I am thinking about that too....

After a few months, I am going to start a group without any leaders; just the participants. But those will be the people who have passed through all the groups. Even leaders can participate in it - but they will be just participants, not leaders. Just the total mind, mm? Just the group consciousness leads wherever.

It will take a little longer time, but it will come to better conclusions than any leader-led group.

Because the very effort to lead brings a resistance into the led. It is so automatic that nobody is aware of it. The leader is not aware that behind the curtain of leadership he may have started manipulating; that the ego may have entered in a subtle garb. And the led are not conscious of any resistance - but underground, an undercurrent of conflict, of resistance, arises .

So by and by, within two, three groups, you will he able to float completely. Forget all that you know.

If it is needed, it will come to you. Whenever it is needed, it will surface in your consciousness. Just go into the group as if you don't know anything, and on the spur of the moment start working. Then things take their own shape. You are there just so that time is not wasted and so people are not moving in circles. You simply help them go towards some conclusion, towards some growth. The effort becomes a process - a process and a progress - but not a running in circles.

And the more your leader will disappear, the better leader you will become, and the better you will feel the results are coming. One day, when the leader is completely gone, you simply become a channel for tremendous energies to enter and take possession.

In fact the leader has to become a vehicle for the unconscious of the led. The led also know the clues, but the clues are deep down in the unconscious. They also know what to do but are not certain. You have to become just vehicles for their own unconscious, so that they come to know something that they know already. Then they will see that you have been vocalising their own hidden understandings; that you are becoming their articulations; that whatsoever they could not say, you have said. But they will feel it is theirs - and then there is no resistance.

That is the difference between the modern psychoanalyst and the old witch doctor. The witch doctor was more in tune with the unconscious. Even now in primitive societies.... In India there are many tribes which are very primitive. Their shaman is totally different. The first thing is that he should become possessed. If somebody comes to ask something, he cannot answer them because consciously, who hears to answer?

So drums are beaten, music is played, incense is burned, and he starts moving. He starts dancing, starts shouting gibberish. And then he is possessed, perspiring... radiant with some other energy.

You ask... now the question is yours - and the answer is also yours. He is just a vehicle. He is no more the person he was there, just a minute before, or a few minutes before. And after he has answered, he comes back. Again he is the same old man... but he will not even accept your thanks.

No money is to be taken, no thanks are to be accepted, because he has not done anything. He simply helps you to do something to yourself, mm? He was just a medium. He played a role - just a bridge between you and you.

That is the meaning really, for me, of a leader. A leader has to be so group-possessed.... So relax more and more.

It has been good... the next group is going to be better, and after three groups you will be totally different. Good.

[A group member says: I went very very deep this time. The second day my body wanted to run away... it was crying. I didn't want to take the pain of the group.

And I felt so much like a mother... like mother earth. And I could feel everything that everybody was feeling. I realised that I had that quality all the time, but I am still afraid to exercise it, to use my intuition, because I feel that I am interfering with other people.]

Mm... it has been a good experience, tremendously good.

Woman is basically the earth, the earth element. Woman is naturally the mother. But the modern woman has lost that dimension. She no more understands herself as the mother or as the earth.

She has become more imitative of man, and is missing much in that imitation... missing her own natural self, her own authentic being.

If a woman goes deeper, immediately she becomes a mother. Hence I call my sannyasins 'ma'.

There is a spontaneous and natural quality. Motherhood is a function of woman.

Man is tremendously poor in that way, and he goes on trying to find something by which he can complement the inherent poverty. Because man is not a mother, he becomes a poet. He gives birth to poetry because he cannot give birth to a man. He becomes a painter, a sculptor; he becomes a scientist. He becomes a thousand and one things just to find something comparably satisfying.

That's why man is more creative... he creates everything. But he is creative because naturally he lacks the dimension of creation - so he tries to substitute it.

It is good that you felt that. Now remain in that consciousness, and don't disturb it. When you feel that you are part of the earth, you are moving into very deep forces. You will have many intuitions which only happen when you are one with your natural being. Then it will also arise that many times you would like to say something, but then you will feel that it will be an interference. Remain alert, mm? Because it can become an interference.

Only when you feel that it is going to help, only when you feel that it is going to be naturally beneficial, use it. Otherwise keep quiet, keep mum about it. Sometimes your insights can become an interference to somebody. It may be true, the insight may be true....

It happened once that a man came to me. He had been passing a street when he met a jaina monk.

The jaina monk looked at him and said 'You will die within three months'. The man became afraid, naturally. He went home and he became ill. He felt nausea; he vomited. He tried to throw it out, but it wouldn't go... it haunted him. He told his wife and she started crying. Then the children came to know, and the whole neighbourhood.

Somebody brought that man to me. The moment I saw him, I knew the jaina monk was right. But still, this was an interference. At least he was going to live three months more... you have killed him right now! Not that the monk was wrong. It was right - the man was going to die within three months; it was so, perfectly true. But I told the man that that monk seems to be mad, and that I would go with him to the monk, and that he should report the monk to the police - because he is a murderer! I told him that he was not going to die, and not to be worried.

The man became very happy. He reported it to the police, and I went with him to see the jaina monk.

The jaina monk became afraid when he saw me. He said 'But I felt...' But that is not the point. I said to him that it was not his business, and that this man was not going to die, and was he certain about it? The man might die just because he had told him; then who would be the murderer?

The monk became very afraid when he heard that it had been reported to the police and that it could become a criminal case. He apologised and said that he was wrong, and that he had been reading some astrological books, and that he had felt that he was right. And the man survived... he has not died. He is still alive.

The jaina monk was right, the insight was right, but insight is not absolute certainty. Life is a hazard.

It is not mathematical. Sometimes two plus two are four, sometimes not. Sometimes two plus two make five. Sometimes two plus two don't make four, they are three. Life is not very mathematical; no mathematician can explain it.

When you are saying something about life and death, you should hesitate. Be more respectful... it is none of your business. If you feel, write it down in your diary, but don't say anything to anybody.

When the person has died, then you can show people your diary, show them that this has been your feeling, mm? But never interfere.

And with this earth feeling, this will come. You will have more and more hunches. You will become authentic woman, and then more hunches will be there... irrational insights; suddenly you will see something. But wait. Seeing is good, but one has to think before saying it - at least three times you should think about it. Mm? Good.