This will be your name, so forget the old, forget it completely, as if it never belonged to you. A discontinuity is needed with the past so that one can start from ABC; fresh, with a clean sheet. That is the meaning of the new name - so that you can forget the old, and then with the old, the whole past disappears.
This will be your name: Ma Deva Veerag: Deva means divine and Veerag means non-attachment, renunciation, non-possessiveness.
Aniketa means homeless and anand means bliss - and bliss is always homeless, it is a vagabond.
Happiness has a home, unhappiness also has a home, but bliss has none. It is like a white cloud with no roots anywhere.
The moment you get roots, bliss disappears and then you start clinging to the earth. Home means security, safety, comfort, convenience. And finally, if all these things are reduced to one thing, home means death. The more you are alive, the more you are homeless.
That is the basic meaning of sannyas: it means to live life in danger, to live life in insecurity... to live life not knowing what is coming next. It means to always remain available and always able to be surprised. If you can be surprised, you are alive. That is why a child is more alive than an old man.
The old man cannot be surprised. He has lost the capacity to wonder, and because of that he has lost life also.
Wonder and wander come from the same root. A fixed mind becomes incapable of wondering, because it has become incapable of wandering. So be a wanderer, like a cloud, and each moment brings infinite surprises. That's what bliss is all about. You are never dead; you are alive each moment, and something new is always happening.
If you have the capacity to receive it, something is always happening. Something tremendously beautiful, something unbelievably beautiful is always happening, but because the mind goes on gathering dust, collecting thoughts, knowledge, by and by it becomes numb, paralysed by knowledge. Knowledge is a paralysis. Once the mind is paralysed, nothing can surprise you - you are already dead. People die long before they die.
Aniketa means to remain homeless. It doesn't mean not to live in a home. It simply means never become attached to anything. Even if you live in a palace, never become attached. If a moment comes to move, you move - without looking back. Nothing holds. You use everything, you enjoy everything, but you remain the master. Nothing makes you a slave, nothing becomes a slavery.
There is no dependence, and then there is no misery.
Misery comes the moment you become clinging, attached. The moment you put conditions on life - when you say you will live only according to this way, no other way; that life has to fulfill your conditions - then you are choosing misery; because life goes on unconcerned with your conditions.
If you have no conditions you can enjoy life infinitely. If you have conditions, because of them you become incapable.
Anand is bliss, Aniketa homelessness. Change to orange, so you become a really homeless wanderer.
[A sannyasin said he was experiencing a great deal of fear during meditation.
Osho said that he felt it had always been there, and it was only that he was becoming aware of it through meditation. Osho suggested he try not to avoid it but to accept it, live it. He said sometimes he should sit alone and allow the fear to come up and to go into it fully; to delight in it, to come to know it through and through.
Osho said that everybody feels fear, some more, some less, but it is with everyone because of the reality of death, of which fear is a symptom, a reminder.
He said if he followed fear, he would find it impossible to live. If he fought with fear, he would become divided.
Osho said It would go by and by and would leave him feeling very peaceful.... ]
It will make you more humble, more prayerful. It will make you more aware of the limitations of life.
It will make you more understanding of other people. When you see somebody running in fear you will not condemn him. You will feel for him, you will feel sympathetic.
Once you have understood your fear, you have understood the situation of the whole human mind.
Whatsoever you have understood in yourself, you have understood in others also. And that makes you humble, sympathetic, human.
So try for two weeks. Whenever you feel it, allow it so deeply that you are no more there... only fear exists. After two weeks, come and meditate in front of me. And for these days, just enjoy it so you become capable of using it. It can be used. It is energy, pure energy - don't waste it. What I am saying is that you should use it and not be used by it - you remain whole.
And that's the whole art of life: to use everything that life gives you - fear, hate, anger, whatsoever it gives. Whatsoever life gives, there must be some treasure hidden in it. Go into it and you will find the treasure.
[The Enlightenment Intensive group were present. One member, and the only person who had left the group before its completion, spoke first: I'm afraid that my pride overcame me, and my body was too weak. I became angry and left....
I felt so much better that I didn't come back. I just continued to eat and sleep.]
Mm. You have to do it again. It is a very deep experience. I know that problems arise - the mind is very cunning. It goes on finding ways to avoid, how to escape. It goes on rationalising. Sometimes it will trick the body, and the body will say that it is weak, feeling ill - and it is the mind that has persuaded the body.
If you continue, within hours you will find that tiredness has gone. Not only that, but after a few hours you will feel that you have never been so fresh and full of new energy. But it only happens when you become absolutely tired.
[Osho went on to describe, as he had done in an earlier darshan, the three layers of energy, and the way the emergency layer comes into operation when it is needed.]
These are created emergency situations. We force the situation so that automatically the lid of the emergency layer opens. But nobody knows exactly when it will come; it depends on the system, the body and the mind.
And many times pride will come in the way. But don't feel guilty because that is making another mistake. The first mistake is enough - why do the second? This is how the mind functions. It helps you to commit one error, and when you have committed it, the same mind says that now you are guilty.
Don't be worried about it. It was your voluntary cooperation; you withdraw it - that's okay. It is not a sin. It was a mistake certainly, but it is not a sin, so there is no guilt. You have not done anything wrong to anybody. You have done something wrong to yourself - that you are allowed. That is your birthright - to do something wrong to yourself. And that you cannot feel - that you have done something wrong to yourself - because you don't know what was going to happen. You can only know when it has happened. That's why I say to try another time.
But you choose. If you feel that it is not possible, then don't do it. But next time, if you choose - and my suggestion is that you choose it - make one more effort: don't escape from it. What can happen? Nobody can die. At the most you will be tired, that's all. So you can sleep - one day, two days afterwards you can sleep. The whole life is there. It is worth taking the risk that you will be tired, because some insight is possible. And it only happens when you are so exhausted that if you were allowed, you would have stopped.
That is the beauty of the group: it becomes a goading. So many people are doing it that you don't feel like escaping.
In fact if you are really a man of pride, you have to do it again. (chuckling) Think about it!
[another participant says: there is this sadness inside me that I'm not in touch with at all.
I know it's my ego. hut I get so tired of people telling me that I look sad When I feel happy they tell me that there is this sadness there. I just don't know what to do about it.]
Do one thing. Whenever anybody says it, accept it with deep gratitude and tell them that they are right, that you are sad. You are avoiding the fact - that's why you are feeling hurt, otherwise you would not be. If somebody says that you are beautiful, you are not hurt. You feel grateful, it is a compliment.
Why do you feel hurt when somebody says you look sad? Because you don't want to be sad, and you are, and you want that nobody should know that you are sad, even if you are.
Accept it. Hang a sign on your neck:
I AM SAD PLEASE GO ON REMINDING ME It will do wonders. (to the group leader) Make a sign! For three days you have to wear this.
Accept it. Nobody is hurting you, nobody wants to hurt anybody. People are beautiful. If they say that you are sad, they are simply saying that they would like you not to be sad... they would like you to be happy, because your sadness will make them sad also.
Whosoever comes near you - a friend, a neighbour, a lover - if you are sad you make him sad also.
You create a sad situation, and if someone enters your arena he is bound to become sad. If he goes on laughing in spite of your sadness, it will be offensive. Even if he wants to laugh, even if he had come to laugh with you, he cannot - just to be polite, as part of etiquette. And if you are really sad and the person feels for you, he will feel for you. When he says you look sad, he is simply saying that it is not good that you feel like this.
You feel hurt because you were trying to avoid the fact, and now he comes and brings the fact before you. Thank him, feel grateful that he brought it to your notice. And don't try to hide it. What can you do? If you are sad, you are sad. Don't smile and hide behind it; don't create any screen, camouflage - no facade.
Once you accept, you will find that by and by there are moments when you forget that you have to remain sad, and you have become happy. Just a moment before, you had forgotten. When I told you to hang a sign around your neck, you had forgotten completely; you were not sad at that moment.
Sadness is not anybody's nature; just a mood, a habit, a pattern. It can be broken. It is because you have chosen it. But the way is not to fight it. The way is to transcend. So accept it. Be really sad for three days. If you find yourself becoming happy, immediately become sad, (laughter) because you have to follow the sign, otherwise people will ask what you are doing. If you catch yourself getting a little smile or something, feel guilty. (much laughter) Three days... and then you come and report.
It is just an old habit that you slip into again and again. A habit needs unconsciousness, a habit lives in unconsciousness. If you become conscious of it, it disappears. So for three days you be consciously sad, consistently sad, persistently sad. Don't go here and there; immediately catch hold and come back and be sad. And then you report. You will fail.
[Another sannyasin says: I just finished the Primal and the Enlightenment, and in both groups I had very rich experiences. In both groups I was thrown back on myself... I feel a wanting to hold onto that, and I know I can't.]
Don't use the word 'hold onto'; don't cling to it. Just allow it to be there. Relax into it but don't try to hold it there, otherwise you will miss because you will become tense. Just relax. Remember it.
Sometimes sitting silently, enjoy it, bring it back, but don't cling.
It will slip many times - let it slip, nothing is wrong. Don't force it, otherwise it will become a heavy trip and the whole beauty will be lost. And if you miss sometimes, you will feel very very sad and frustrated. Never do that. You have come to an insight - now it is yours. Why be worried? Whenever you want it, it will be there. You follow me? You know what it is... you have tasted it. It is something within you - nobody can take it away.
Just enjoy it, otherwise if you try to cling to it you will destroy it. That's how the mind goes on destroying all that is beautiful. It makes everything ugly: it reduces everything to ugliness.
Sometimes just looking at the sky, enjoy it; walking on the street, enjoy it - then forget all about it.
Don't make it a constant effort, because there is no need. There is no need to become obsessed. It will become deeper and deeper and deeper. Then you will see that there is no need to think about it at all. Do other things. Don't make it a constant effort otherwise it will be a disturbance in doing other things. Then other things will seem as if they are your enemies, because then it will be a competition. Life is rich because there are so many things in it.
And this is always there, it is a constant fire. It is you.
[[Another sannyasin says:
I felt my resistances and defences being chopped away. The group put me in touch with how I keep myself away from my feelings.... ]
Now follow that insight. Sometimes sit and bring it back - otherwise insights can be lost. Sit and bring it back, so that it becomes again a new experience, so that it remains alive and blood goes on circulating in it.
And every method brings you to the same point. The path may be a little different - it starts from a different point - but every method ends in the same centre. So, good - to understand that. Once you understand that you can use all the methods, you are never dependent on any. By and by one becomes free of methods. One day you will realise that even methods are not needed. Without methods you also reach the same place, but in the beginning it is difficult to reach without them.
Once you have reached the same place again and again through many methods, that place becomes available. There is no distance between you and the space that you have touched - it is just by the corner. Knock and the doors open. It is not far away, but we have forgotten how to knock, and these methods are just how to knock again and again.
[Another group member says: Primal is very cathartic and the Enlightenment Intensive is very penetrating.]
It has been good. In a way, it healed you. The Primal can shatter... it is needed to dismantle the old.
In the Enlightenment Intensive a new self is being built. It has been good.
[Another group member says: It (the group) was a healing thing... I saw my face in the mirror change and become more alive. In fact to hear my voice, to feel that I am alive, is amazing to me. I don't know why I didn't feel I was alive before.]
When for the first time there is a breakthrough, you start feeling alive. Suddenly you cannot even believe how you were missing it before. It is as if a dream has broken, as if you were under a spell, an hypnotic spell, and it has broken, and suddenly one comes out of the drunk state. It has been good. Now continue something of it.
[another sannyasin asked if he should use the technique of tiredness, as they had used in the group, in his day to day life, as he had found that aspect of the group helpful.]
It can be helpful, but don't do it too long, because anything done too long will not be of any help - it will become a daily routine.
So once a while you can do it. Once a while for three days and nights, remain awake, don't go to sleep. Three days will do - it will release enough energy. Then forget about it, otherwise it can be dangerous. It can destroy the body and the subtle nervous system, it is not good then.
Fasting and night vigilance are the same. A few religions have used fasting, a few religions have used vigilance in the night, Sufis particularly.
You can do it, but every night it is not good.
[A sannyasin said she was feeling in need of a relationship and that she would like a man. Osho said this was good and to find a man....
She asks: I'm to find him, am I?
You just be available - he will find you. There is no need for a woman to find a man. Men are always finding and chasing.
You just be in a spot where they pass by, that's all. And women know by instinct where to stand, (much giggling) where to be where men are caught. The men come by their own foolishness! Stupid men are still available, (laughter) don't be worried!