Sudheer means infinitely patient, and prem means love. Love is patient and everything else is impatient. If there is no patience, there is no love. Passion is impatient, love is patient. and once you understand that to be patient is to be loving, and to be patient is to be in prayer, then everything is understood. One has to wait, and one has to learn how to wait.
There are things that cannot be done; they only happen. There are things that can be done, but those things belong to the world. Things which cannot be done belong to God, or belong to the other world, or howsoever you name it. But things that cannot be done - only they are the real things.
they always happen to you; you become a receiving end - and that is the meaning of surrender.
Become a receiving end... be patient and just wait. Wait with deep love, prayerfulness, gratitude - gratitude for that which has already happened, and patience for that which is going to happen.
Ordinarily the human mind does just the opposite. It is always grumbling for that which has not happened, and it is always too impatient for it to happen. It is always complaining, never grateful. It is always desiring, and never creating the capacity to receive. a desire is futile if you don't have the capacity to receive it. So change to orange and become a deep receptivity... and much is going to happen. Your energy is moving perfectly and is flowing.
[The new sannyasin says: I'm a scientist, a geneticist. I work with plants.]
Very good. That's very good work. Working with plants is almost... working in a temple.
[A sannyasin says: I've just finished the Primal, and Padma (his woman sitting beside him) is going into the Primal next month. My feelings have changed... I don't feel with her or her son the way I thought I did.]
Don't pay much attention to it. It is just a hangover from the group, and it will go. Just let it settle and don't be worried about it.
When you go through such a crisis - as Primal is - everything is shattered, everything is topsy-turvy.
It has to be so because you move backwards. So don't decide right now, just wait. When she comes out of the group you will have completely settled, and you will be able for the first time to really love.
This is a good sign and nothing fo be worried about. Whatsoever you were thinking was love, was not much; it was something else that has disappeared.
Always remember not to take any decision immediately after the group, never, mm? Because then you will repent for it. It is as if you have passed through an electric shock and you immediately decide something; it won't be of much value.
Let yourself come together again and a new perception will arise, a new clarity. (to Padma) And remember, don't do the same thing as he is doing, because you will pass through the same process, mm? So by the time he is settled, you will be unsettled.
It is such a deep change that one should allow a little time. So never decide immediately after the group. Wait for at least two weeks - wait the same time as you have been in the group.
[Padma asks: Is it good for him to look after my son, while I do the group? He's six.]
He is not in a position right now. He himself is in a state of six....
After Primal that happens - one becomes childish, juvenile - but that is the whole process. That is what it is all about: to bring you back to your childhood - irresponsible, innocent but irresponsible.
That is what he is feeling - irresponsible. He is not worried about you or the child.
By the time your group starts he may have settled, otherwise you make other arrangements. And don't be worried about him. Take care of him, mm? He is another child now - not a husband or a boyfriend, but another son. So be a mother, mm?
[A sannyasin asks: I've become interested in Tantra as a method.
[His girlfriend] and I have been practising it, and we were wondering if you could give us some technique.]
Go spontaneously, and devise your own ways. If you practise some technique it comes in between you and then it becomes a performance. Then you are more technically related to her than in a love relationship. When you are doing something and she is doing something. vou are not being together. When you something, she has become an object; when she is doing something to you, you have become an object. And nobody is an object. A person is a subjectivity. Don't reduce any person to objectivity. Don't treat any person as an instrument or as a means to something else - that is very violent.
Respect the other person so much that the relationship becomes an end in itself. Forget about technique. If you love each other, just allow love to possess you both, and love will show you many ways. Just be ready to cooperate with it, that's all. You understand me?
Just move spontaneously, that's all. If you plan, for it, the spontaneity is lost... and once spontaneity is lost, everything is lost. Love is no more there; it has disappeared. Just leave yourself in the hands of God - so pray.
Every time that you make love, just pray together. Pray to God to take possession of you and to do whatever He pleases - 'Thy will be done.' Just become vehicles, and you will see many things happening... tremendous experiences will come to you. You will even become more scared sometimes because you will be doing things you cannot imagine that you can do. Things will be happening that you could never have dreamt of. You will become so full of energy that you will not be able to believe that this is your energy. It is not yours.
This is the greatest technique. The greatest technique is always a non-technique. If you cannot succeed in it, then I will give you techniques; they are a second choice. If somebody fails in love then techniques.... If somebody succeeds in love, then there is no need of any technique... love will take care.
And many things will happen, and there will be changes every day. There will be new territory to be travelled every moment. With techniques everything becomes an old thing. You do it again and again; it becomes a habit, a dead routine. Mechanically you repeat it, you perform it, and - finished.
Love is always new, and that's the beauty of it. So don't destroy it right now. If you cannot succeed, then tell me, but I say you will succeed. (to the woman) Come here. Let me see if you can succeed or not. Face each other and hold hands. Close your eyes and let your energies move as if you have become one energy. If something happens in the body, allow it.
[Osho checks their energy.]
You try, but it will be a little hard, mm. Tell me after fifteen days. It will be difficult - you both have blocks.
[[The woman] said that one of her blocks was that she still had a lot of feelings for a past lover, so she was not totally with [her present lover].
She said she would like to be free of the feelings for the other man and asked Osho how she could do this.]
You just try what I am saying. First pray together, and then while making love, go wild - don't be civilised at all. The wildness will destroy the block completely - that's what is needed.
(to the man) And help her to be wild, provoke her to be wild. And you also be a little wild. It will go - so don't be worried - but a little work is needed on it, and once it goes it will be very very good.
So just go wild, and that man will drop. It is not a question of dropping him; it is a question of being more in love. One can remain hung up with an old relationship if the new one is not as satisfying - otherwise who is worried? If the former relationship is still at a higher peak, if you can compare it and you still feel that it was higher, then it will always remain in the mind. Make this higher and the other will disappear.
[She adds: We've been going too mild.]
No, mildness won't do. And he is a little mild - a gentleman. (laughter) Gentleman are of no use in love - just be a little rough, mm?
[The vipassana group was present. The groupleader said: ... They were very male - a lot of willpower.
But they needed a longer time. I think it should all be three weeks, maybe even more. I'm getting the feel of it more now, but each group is different.]
Each group is going to be different, because people have different personalities, and then the groups have different personalities.
[The group leader adds: It was very crowded as well.]
Too crowded? But that can be a helpful thing if you don't make it a problem. Sometimes a few things can happen when you are in a very crowded space; even the very crowding can become an experience.
You lose the ego because you lose privacy. And by and by, if you have to live in a crowded room, you start being alone - even in a crowd. So that's not bad in a way.
[The assistant group leader asked: Last darshan you said that those that didn't want to be hit could say so... ]
No, no. I said that those who want to be hit, they can just give the hint to you to hit them more.
Nobody can say they don't want to be hit!
... No, nobody is allowed, because then the whole point is lost. If anybody says he is not to be hit, he has to be thrown; he is no more a part.
[She answers: There was one who said he did not want to be hit, even before he received one hit.]
No, he has to be hit hard! If next time somebody says, hit him hard! (laughter)
[A participant asks: You said a month ago to me that I was a coward. My point is, I ask myself if you condemn me for that?]
(chuckling) No, no, not at all, not at all. You don't understand my language - and I understand that it is difficult.
When I love a person, I call him a coward. Don't be worried about it. I never condemn anything. But I have to persuade you to do things.
... If you are a coward, you are a coward. What is the condemnation there? What can you do?
Nobody can do anything; one has to accept that one is a coward. And you are a beautiful coward!
There is no condemnation. It is not an evaluation there is no judgement. If you are doing something that is cowardly, I will say that it is cowardly. I have not said not to do it. I'm saying just to be aware,
and in awareness it will disappear. I'm not saying do the opposite and try to be brave. That's what everybody has been doing their whole lives: trying to be brave and repressing cowardliness, and this and that.
It is not to offend you. It is to awake you. And I know the day you will understand, you will also say 'the blow was far from hard enough'.
[A participant says: This morning in the meditation I was rehearsing what to say to you - about twenty-five times - and then I looked at you, and I recognised it to be my heart's desire. So I opened my heart and you came in. My heart started burning and started sounding the aum, and the dialogue ended, you know... then it became a light and shone up to my third eye, and that triggered it off, and then it was just auming.]
Very good. You got the point. Things are really going well...
And don't be worried about the drama that continues - it can be used in a creative way. The only thing to remember is that one should be aware of it. One should not be lost in it, identified with it, that's all. But the mind has to be used.
[A group member asked if he should resume healing people - which he had done last year for a time, but was finding at that time he was taking on others' illnesses.]
Wait. You can do it with healthy people, but don't touch ill people right now. When you get in tune with healthy people, ask me again.
One should never start working on ill peppier, because illnesses can be transferred. But it is good to work on healthy people - there is no problem. And by and by while you are working, forget that you are doing something. In fact, you just be there and let things happen. Put your hand on the body, close your eyes, and wait.
It is just like when one does automatic writing. You take the pen in your hand, you put the pen to paper, close your eyes, and wait. If something happens, the hand moves on its own - you are not to move it. By and by you see there is a jerk, and the hand has started moving. Now it is writing something. You can read it, and you can see that you are not writing it. It has to be done this way.
Just let the person lie down on his stomach, and the right place to put the hands is on the lower part of the spine, because the energy of the person is there. If you just wait, the energy of the person will guide you where to go, how to move; it will guide your hands. Don't be impatient. Just wait - and at the most after two or three minutes, suddenly a jerk has happened and your hands are moving.
Now you are not the doer. Go wild, and don't try to use any technique. If you know a technique, it will be used, but don't try consciously. Just become possessed.
So don't start with ill people, because only if you are doing can the illness be transferred, otherwise not. The illness can only be transferred to the ego, not to you. And the ego is such a wound that it attracts all sorts of illnesses. So the other may be healed, but you will become ill - and then it is pointless. So first learn how to allow it to happen.
(addressing the rest of the Vipassana group) For others who have done this group and have not done others, they should do others by and by. Particularly the Enlightenment Intensive after Vipassana will be good if you have not already done it.