Darshan 4 August 1979
[A sannyasin accompanies her fourteen-year-old daughter to take sannyas.]
Anand Erika. Anand means bliss; erika means brave, courageous. Bliss is only for the courageous.
The coward lives in misery. The coward has to live in misery because he clings to the past, he clings to that which is already known, he clings to the familiar. He remains in a self-confinement, afraid of the new, afraid of the unknown. And life is always new and always unknown. It is only for those who have the guts to go into the uncharted, who are courageous enough not to look back.
That's what bravery means: always looking forwards. When you have a destination as a star far away, and you are ready to risk all for it, then life grows into a blissful phenomenon. Life becomes a beautiful lotus of bliss.
[The teenager asks if she has to go to school in the West because she doesn't fit the system any more.]
So you can be here! This is the place for people who can't fit anywhere else. They fit here immediately! Then there is no need to go anywhere, then this is your home. Solved! Your problem is solved! Mm?
Prem Radha. Prem means love, and Radha is the mythological beloved of Krishna. She was not a historical person, she never existed, but she represents all those who have loved Krishna, she is the essence of all the love that has been showered on Krishna. So Radha is simply a symbol of the beloved, not a person in reality but only a perfume, a presence.
She is referred to in the old Indian scriptures as a shadow that follows Krishna. Her name is not mentioned; everybody else's name is mentioned. But there is a reference to a woman who follows
Krishna like a shadow, anonymously. He is there, but she is almost as if not, almost an absence.
She does not obstruct him in any way, she is just a shadow. Later on this shadow was called Radha.
The name was given thousands of years afterwards, and the name was given by a highly esoteric school of mystics, for a certain reason. In Sanskrit the word "dhara" means river; it comes from the mountains, from the source, from the high mountains, and moves downwards towards the sea.
Radha is simply dhara read in reverse. Radha means a river moving from the sea towards the mountains, going upwards, defying the law of gravitation.
And love is the only phenomenon that defies gravitation. It moves upwards, everything else moves downwards. Gravitation has no effect on love, hence they use this word. And slowly slowly the word became associated with the woman who followed Krishna as a shadow, whose name is not mentioned, who remained anonymous. Love is always anonymous; it does not want to proclaim.
It is non-obstructive, it is non-possessive, it is non-demanding. Love only wants to sene, love only wants to surrender, love only wants to disappear in the presence of the beloved.
And that's the path for you; your name contains the path for you. Become love, anonymous, annihilating, self-effacing, humble - just a shadow, a shadow surrendered to God.
Anand Ursula. Anand means bliss; ursula is the name of a constellation of stars, Ursa Major. Man can become a blissful constellation of stars, but that is only a possibility, a potential, a seed. It can happen but it may not happen; it depends on us. Life has to be lived as a great art, only then is it possible.
But people go on wasting their life. They take it for granted, they think they have already got it. Life iS only an opportunity for real life; in itself it is not the real thing but only an opportunity, a context! a space, in which real life can happen.
But great effort is needed. The seeds are there, the soil is there, but you have to be a gardener. You have to plant the seeds, you have to care about the seeds, you have to gather fertilizers, and you have to love the seeds and the sprouts and protect them, and do a thousand and one things. Then one day the beautiful flowers and the great fragrance...
Life can become infinite light. And all that is required to create that light is within you, but it has to be given a new synthesis, a new arrangement. One has to learn to play on life almost as one learns to play on a guitar or a sitar; life has to be taken as a musical instrument. And then one has to learn, learn from all possible sources: from the poets, from the musicians, from the dancers, from the mystics, from the meditators, from the lovers, from the trees, mountains, rivers, stars - from every possible dimension, from every direction, one has to learn. And then a great richness grows in you.
You can really become a constellation of dancing stars.
But one can miss the opportunity too. If one remains accidental, if one just goes on doing things because others are doing them, if one just goes on moving without any sense of direction, if one simply tries to kill time, then one is committing suicide. Then one will not know what life was ready to become, what life was meant to become, what life was destined to become.
It can become a blissful dance, a blissful song, but one has to be very conscious, alert, artful, skillful, and one has to work upon oneself. Each moment one has to go on working on oneself. Slowly slowly that refinement, that sharpness of intelligence arises which makes you really an individual; otherwise you are just a part of the crowd.
Anand Rubai. Anand means bliss; rubai means a song.
You must have heard about the famous book of Omar Khayyam, Rubaiyat. It is the same word, rubai; rubaiyat is plural for rubai. Rubai means a very very lovely song, a song that goes deep into the heart, a song that has nothing to do with the mind, a song that is not intellectual but intuitive, a song which is not any theory, any philosophy, but just sheer joy - the song of a bird.
It means nothing and yet it is so significant!
It has no meaning. You cannot find any meaning in it. A cuckoo calling from the distance... it has no meaning at all, but yet it is so significant, so lovely, who cares whether it has meaning or not? A rubai is a song which is beautiful not for its meaning but for its juice, for its tremendous beauty, for its penetrating power. And life should be a song of bliss; it should not be sad.
Sadness is something manufactured by us, it is not made by God; sadness is our creation. God has created a very blissful existence; it is man who distorts things. It is man's mind, his ego, which goes on disturbing the harmony of nature. Either one can live as an ego - then one lives in hell; or one can live in egolessness - then one lives in paradise. And to be a sannyasin means to enter paradise.
[A sannyasin says she is full of fear. In reply to Osho's questions, she says she is not in a relationship, but in love with someone in the West, and does not know if he loves her.]
Because when there is fear unaddressed, that means it is love upside down. The same energy that becomes love, becomes fear. If it is directed towards something then it is a totally different matter, then there is a problem and it can be solved. But when it is not directed towards anything it simply indicates that you want to drown yourself in deep love and that somehow you are holding back, and that is creating the fear. It is only love that takes fear away.
Love casts fear away, so take a jump into love! And don't be bothered about whether the other loves you or not - that is his problem! Then let him come and become a sannyasin and he will ask... His problem is his problem, don't be worried about that!
You love, and the fear will disappear. It is the negative aspect of love. If you don't love it will remain there and grow like a wound and it will suffocate you: your whole life will be destroyed around it.
So find someone, any victim will do! And don't be worried about what is happening to him - that is his problem! Mm? You try. Good.
[A sannyasin says she has to move her energy but does not know how to let it happen.]
All things are happening. You even may not be aware of it, but things are happening inside. You are calmer and cooler, and this is a good indication, because this is the beginning of let-go. It is going to happen! Don't be worried.
[A sannyasin says she has so much energy she can't handle it, and it seems to be stuck in the belly and causes pain.]
Don't be worried, I need much energy! Don't be worried, we will use it.
Do Hypnotherapy, mm? Then I will give you a few more groups. And then start working. And the whole energy will be transformed, nothing to be worried about. It is good. It comes with such a rush, that's why sometimes it can be painful. One just needs to become accustomed to the rush, then one starts absorbing it. And it has to be used, otherwise it can become stagnant in the body and then it can give pain....
It will be released from every place where it can become dead, stagnant. It can be released. And then when it is overflowing and it comes and goes and you are just a vehicle, you don't stop it anywhere, then it is such a joy to live! Then it is just a breeze passing through the trees; it takes all the dust away from you and keeps you clean and flowing. It's perfectly good: it is not a problem, it is a blessing! And soon you will understand. After Hypnotherapy, remind me.
[A sannyasin says: I became a sannyasin in Germany and I felt your energy. It was good and many things happened of their own accord, but when I came here a great doubt came into my mind and I was puzzled and confused. And I asked myself: is this the wrong place?]
It happens. There you were imagining things, and here no opportunity is given to imagine. What you were feeling was your fantasy. It was your dream world; you were the maker of it so you could have done whatsoever you wanted. Here I will not allow you to fantasize! I will shatter all your dreams and all your fantasies. I will shock you into awareness! Dreaming is not the thing that is going to help, hence the doubt - because you believe more in your dreams than you believe in me. And to pull you out of your dreams, naturally, is a difficult job! But it has to be done.
My work is very thankless: to destroy people's dreams, their fantasies, what they think are very occult, esoteric, this and that. All that is nonsense!
I am a very pragmatic, realistic person. So when you are here you have to be ready to come down to earth from the clouds. I am very earthly, earth-rooted. And I would like every sannyasin to be earth-rooted, because only then can you grow like trees into the sky. The tree has to be rooted in the earth, then it can bloom in the sky. The flowers will be seen by everybody and roots will not be seen by anybody, but the roots are the real thing - and I start with the real thing. You would like the flowers immediately and I give you roots. And roots are not very beautiful, remember; roots are ugly.
So you will have to pass through many ugly experiences. Doubt is ugly, suspicion is ugly, negativity, sadness, anger - they are all ugly, but they will prepare your roots. And it is a long journey. The flower is the end product. And if you want the flower right now, then you will have only a plastic flower! You can choose: if you want real flowers, real roses, to grow in your being, then you have to come with me - according to me, not according to you.
Whatsoever happens here happens according to me; I never adjust to anybody. If I start adjusting to you, then I will not be able to change you at all. I can pat your back and I can say, "Great, your dreams were great! You are already realized! Just on the verge of it!" And then great trust in me will arise. But that will not be helpful; I will be befooling you, deceiving you, cheating you. I will not be a friend, I will be an enemy. And I want to be your friend!
So do a few groups, grow a few roots... and wait and hope for flowers. They will come one day, but it is an arduous journey to come to real flowers. And only real flowers satisfy; plastic flowers can't satisfy, they will not have any fragrance in them. They only look like flowers, they are not flowers.
So it is perfectly okay, nothing to be worried about. Just have a little patience. Do a few groups, meditate, dance, sing, and within six to eight weeks your dreams will be gone and you will be moving on the earth. And then you will be able to see what is happening here. Right now you are too much clouded by your own mind, too much occupied by it, so you cannot see what is happening.
Something tremendously important is happening here which is not happening anywhere on earth.
But it is up to you: if you are so interested in your dreams you can go back and dream again. But if you really want to grow, if your desire to grow is authentic, sincere, then you will have to pass through much pain and much fire, because it is only through fire that gold can be purified. And I am an alchemist.